Kouros Kourosington's World of Fun

A Very Long Time.

2009-02-24T18:48:00.006Z

Some time in the past, I seem to remember a fellow blogger referring to blogging as a form of therapy. In fact, I know this is something I've counted on at various times over the last few years.

In short, I think it speaks volumes that I haven't been blogging since I left my last job, and yet I am so sorry I've been away. This blogring has a fantastic community, and I feel a bit of shame not being a contributing part of it.

I'm still here. I'm still around. Sorry I've not been as vocal as I could be (I'll try to correct that) but I've not got as much to vent at the moment as I used to. I guess what I'm coming to realise is that as good as it is to be able to say what is weighing down on you, it is made that much better by knowing that someone is listening.

Thank you, all, for that.

I see dead people.

2008-09-07T08:27:00.003Z

I'm not entirely sure, but I think I see more folk lying unmoving at the side of the road than the national average. Or maybe it's just that I just stop more than most (at least judging by the number of people that rubberneck and drive past as I'm checking them out).

I see an average of one every two years... that's not right, is it? Or is it? Really... are there a relatively large number of people who just collapse or have a kip in verges, even in the rain?

So far they've all turned out to be alive, at least after a little prodding, but I guess its only a matter of time. I do need to get my First Aider qualifications up to date as well, just in case.

I've been abused by a drunk woman who had previously been face down in the gutter for checking if she was alive. Thanked by an old lady who had fallen over and sprained her ankle (someone else arrived at the same time as me and took her to hospital) and had two pretty incoherent replies from guys with what I can only presume were mental health difficulties, the only real resolution was to call the Police and leave it to the professionals.

The latest was yesterday, in the pouring rain. We were on our way to see Mamma Mia! because there wasn't much else to do as it was so wet. It's quite good fun, by the way. I rather surprised myself by enjoying it.

Anyway, as we drove along the road, I spotted this guy lying on the pavement, head resting on his arm. Remember, this is Monsoon Britain. We pulled over at a nearby pub (and yes, the thought did cross my mind about the cause of his sleepiness) and I jumped out to check on him. He was alive (thank God) but started rambling about ambulances checking on him, but refusing to let him on board and other stuff.

I asked him if he might be more comfortable in the bus shelter (where at least it was dry, and somewhere I could point the authorities to if need be). Alas, the bus shelter was behind him... he doesn't go backwards, only forwards apparently.

He got up, and started shambling on. We popped to the Police and made a suggested someone might like to check he hasn't got lost from his carer and went to see the film. We drive back along the same route, and there he was, a little further down the road (forwards, of course) asleep on the wet, muddy grass next to a bus shelter. He wasn't there or anywhere on the road when we came home, so fingers crossed the Plod or someone else did come to give him a helping hand.

So that was exciting. I do wonder when I'm going to encounter my first violent zombie though.

Last Day!

2008-08-27T08:55:00.003Z

WooHoo!

I still haven't received a written confirmation of the job offer. Allegedly I start Monday...

Why Is It...

2008-08-23T15:14:00.002Z

...that most sporting events never seem to end, tying up television schedules for weeks or months on end only to be repeated the following year, and the Olympics is over before it seems to have really started?

Litterbugs.

2008-08-22T15:01:00.002Z

It's a curious thing, that human trait to turn the other cheek. It's even curiouser when, for no godly apparent reason, you decide not to.

I had such an encounter earlier today, when a young lad left the local shop with an ice lolly, and dropped the wrapper on the floor. I asked him to pick it up, and he did. He left around a corner, and then came back a few minutes later with a couple of older brothers who wanted to know what my problem was.

Apparently, dropping litter doesn't matter and its just rubbish, as they informed me. The little sod grinned and dropped it again. I asked them if they'd mind people dropping little outside their house. Their reply was an eloquent "I'd tell them to fuck off"

I like to think that everyone left the encounter a little more knowledgeable, but I think not. In fact, I'm fairly certain that the young tyke became too excited by his roast dinner waiting for him at home and forgot all about littering, at least judging by his exclamation of "Faggot!" as we all went our separate ways.

Volunteers Please!

2008-08-19T12:54:00.003Z

I've been having a play creating a website using Joomla - not something I have a huge amount of experience with. I promised Ween I would make a small site for our wedding with a gift list on it, photos and such like. I figured if I was doing something for us, I may as well do something other folk can use too.

This is as far as I've got. Ignore the latin, it's just filler text until I think of something witty to put on the front page, and the design I intend to start from scratch rather than using a template - however if anyone out there would be so kind as to sign in and offer any criticisms or feedback, it would be greatly appreciated. I will reward you by blogging a bit more often.

Username: demo
Password: demo123

The ultimate goal is that users will have a direct link to their profile (e.g. http://www.unione.co.uk/sarahandpete) but I haven't quite got that working yet. Also you'll note I haven't actually added the gift list yet either... shh! Don't tell Ween!

Twaddle.

2008-07-29T19:23:00.002Z

According to Stu's Laziest Blogger ticker, I am that. Or at least I was, until this post.

There is a couple of reasons why this isn't the case. Firstly, I have started posting elsewhere. Yes, this is both bad and wrong, but it is also true. I've enjoyed myself doing it, and as rubbish as it may be I hope that anyone else of a similar bent may be interested in following it.

Secondly, I need to refer back to my previous blog, in which I said...

I suddenly find myself in a position where I am hating, really hating, my job again.

I am going to be very careful here and say that I was not overstating the situation. Certainly, my job did not involve putting kittens into a bag and taking them down to a river, but it also wasn't something I was overly enjoying.

In perfect James May stylee, however, Good News! I have been offered a JOB.

Moving swiftly back to important blog-worthy matters, what you may notice from the Other Place I have posting (apart from the thing that will not be mentioned) is that I have been cycling a bloody long way. Yes, I cycled from Romsey to Swanage and back, about 140 miles in total.

Although I came back in great pain, I strongly recommend others to have a go too. It was great fun. Yes, we over did it. We should have given ourselves an extra day, but by jove it was good. Bikes are the way forward.

Being outside, understanding the terrain you are crossing, the distance, the elevation, the weather... it all adds to a holiday. By simply jumping into a car and driving somewhere listening to Radio 2 seems somehow crap in comparison. I'm sorry, but it's true.

I've arranged to take a few more of these holidays with my cycling buddy (also my best man) and I'm thoroughly looking forward to them. Maybe if you're in the New Forest area one weekend, you might want to join us?

Haven't we been here before?

2008-05-31T16:55:00.002Z

I suddenly find myself in a position where I am hating, really hating, my job again. It largely stems from part of my role, which starting as a minor part, and has now almost engulfed the entire job. Basically its not a particularly enjoyable thing to do, and it doesn't make me popular with the students. Considering that the vast majority of my working life involves interaction with students, this is a Big Thing.

I've started drinking more again. A lot more, the bottle of red to myself every night kind of more.
I know it isn't helping matters, but I've got myself trapped in that place.

Naturally I have been applying for alternative employment, and I have my fingers crossed over a couple of possibilities, but many of them involve a quite serious pay cut. Paying for the habit is one thing, I can always kick that if necessary, but finding it tough to pay the mortgage is something else.

That said, I am tempted to simply hand in my notice on Monday, and deal with the consequences later. Maybe get a few temping jobs to pay the bills and see what happens after that, but I just don't know.

Wax and wane

2008-04-21T19:29:00.002Z

You know how the moment you finish washing your car a bird is going to take a nice big poo over your windscreen?

Yesterday I had my car valeted, washed, waxed, top up the fluids that needed topping up and generally felt good about driving the monstrosity for the first time in years.

Today a numpty on a motorbike decided he no longer liked the idea of using brakes and used my rear end to stop instead.*

Bastard.

* Yes, he's OK (trust me, I checked him long before I started worrying about the car - He's still a bastard).

Hiyo God Damn Silver!

2008-03-23T09:30:00.002Z

Again I appear to be the laziest blogger, so let me rectify that by sharing with a few things I've enjoyed while I've been away.

Firstly, a fan boys wet dream. A fan-made trailer for a movie about Dick Grayson. I love this for so many reasons, and I hope that if you've ever read a DC comic you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

Next on my path to true geekdom, I seem to have got myself involved in Dungeons and Dragons. Completely coincidental with the death of Gygax, I assure you, I am now playing weekly, and rather enjoying it. Anyone else of the blogroll a secret player? Any tips?

And finally, a little story from work. The other day I happened to pass by IT services and noticed they had a new plasma screen installed. The screen displayed a rotation of various statistics, such as the number of computers switched on, temperature and light levels in the server rooms, that kind of thing.

One such report seemed to show lights being turned on and off every half an hour in one room, over a 14-hour period. Obviously something was seriously amiss. Could it be that someone was truly going into and out of the locked room so often across the working day?

Eventually we figured it out. The report had been set for 14 days, not 14 hours. Light/dark was simply day/night. This was not solved before we had physically checked the location, stood guard over the room and spent a great deal of time scratching our heads.

We're professionals, us.

Half Term.

2008-02-23T12:21:00.002Z

For the past two days, there have been a group of kids on the corner of my road holding signs saying "Honk! Honk!" and waving them at passing motorists.

I don't know what amuses me more. Whether it is that the kids are bored and inventive enough to use this as a pastime (and keep it up for a significant period of time) or that nearly every damned car which drives past is doing it.

And I'll paint if I want to.

2008-02-21T14:49:00.005Z

Largely inspired by Henner's blog, I have been toying with the idea of taking up painting. Unlike Hen, the medium of watercolour, rather than oils quite appeals to me. I like to see myself as the organised sort of fellow (I'm not) who will meticulously plan a picture before rendering it.

Being as it is my birfday today I decided to splash out and buy a set of water colours and paintbrushes from Mr. W H Smith.

I spent a good half an hour just playing with the colours (and cling film), making a few blocks of paint and interesting shapes, before setting about a little work. This first result was, I am quite ashamed to say, somewhat childish in its composure. I think I probably learned a lot about lighting, dimensions and planning just from this one piece. I won't share it here - needless to say I'm not proud of it, but I'm glad I did it.

Thanks Hen for unwittingly encouraging me to take up this pastime. I have a sneaking suspicion it will be addictive. And thanks for Stu for the name and shame to make me blog.

Road Kill.

2008-02-09T08:28:00.000Z

Back when I was working for XYZ Publishers I occasionally promised that I would cycle in at least once, but never did. Yesterday, I took a day off my current job and fulfilled that promise. The right day to do it, as it turned out.

Leaving the house at 09.00 I wasted no time in gaining that feeling of "oh shit it's cold, it's a long way, and now I feel a bit sick" but I pressed on regardless. By the time I had hit the brow of the first hill, everything was OK in the world. The mist was still over the fields, but the sky was blue.

The plan was to hit the Test Way, ride through Stockbridge, and on to Andover. Arriving at that point, however, it became apparent that the toll for the amount of rain over the past few months was mud, and lots of it. Cycling through it would be tough, and slow. Cycling on the road, which can be a bit of a race track would be faster, but dangerous.

I don't know why, but I chose the road. Interestingly enough nobody did anything spectacularly stupid, and I saw a few cyclists come the opposite way so maybe my theory about there being more cyclists, and therefore more aware drivers is starting to hold water.

The mist cleared from the fields as I arrived in Stockbridge, and I took a five minute pitstop before heading off again. Horses ran along with me in their fields, and a few deer looked inquisitively at me as I rode past - quite hidden from driver's view amongst tree branches, but still right next to the road. Some where along this point I spotted a lone red glove, and then a few miles on it's partner, never to be reunited with their soulmate.

Views across the fields were spectacular. I really wish I had taken a camera. It's strange to think I drove this way every day for two years and never appreciated it. I wonder how many do likewise.

It finally feels like spring could be just around the corner. A round trip of 36 miles. My legs are aching now, but I feel invigorated. Remind me - why do I drive again?

2007 Roundup

2008-01-04T04:56:00.000Z

So, what happened?

I lost a crap job, gained a mediocre job.

I joined a gym.

I kept a few new year resolutions (cycled more, wrote a little more, didn't start a religion)

And got engaged!

Resolution for 2008:-

Cut back on the booze.

Pay off student loan (£5k apparently... ouch!).

So tired.

2007-12-12T04:47:00.000Z

I can't sleep.

I've been awake since 01.28, and would love nothing more than to drift back off.

But as I said, I can't sleep.

Truth and Lies.

2007-12-07T20:55:00.000Z

Omally tagged me, forcing me to tell five facts about myself. If this doesn't get me the highest comment count so far, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

Here goes.

1. I don't like the last-year me. I've re-read my blogs from 2006, and the Kouros that wrote them is a bit of a twat. In all fairness it was a very stressful time. I was losing a job I hated, but had no direction as to where I wanted to go. Still, I was self centred, disrespectful and a bit of a wanker. Life is all about changes. Some are for the better, some are for the worse. I hope I've changed for the better.

2. I'm a hypocritical bastard. That's all changing (the statements in the blog, that is, not the hypocrisy). Ween knows, though I won't actually propose until the new year, eight years after we met. I went to see the ring today. It looks fantastic - a jeweler friend made it, so it should, though the price has taken me aback somewhat. Worth every penny.

3. Like Omally, I am a son, a brother, a cousin and an uncle. One part of me would love to be a dad... unlike Omally, however, one part of me is petrified at the prospect. Like marriage, I guess it is something I will grow into much sooner than I realise, but jeeeeez....

4. I've never finished Lord of the Rings. The films, yes, but the book, nah. Really, it's as boring as bringing a cup of tea to the boil by breathing on it.

5. I really did name myself after a pair of shoes. Aftershave had nothing whatsoever to do with it. Because I dislike the last year me so much, I've considered starting afresh, and killing off this name. It would do in two birds with one stone. No more Kouros. That scares me more than having kids.

Maybe it's just me

2007-11-29T18:56:00.000Z

But when did ignorance of the law become an excuse?

A teacher working in a foreign country may have a fair point and a relatively short imprisonment seems to reflect that, however the argument is stretched to breaking point when politicians try to weasel their way out of their own rules.

Aaargh.

2007-11-22T17:31:00.001Z

Maybe it's just because I see more of them more often, and maybe it's just me, but are there more kids with quite heinous attitude problems these days?

Case in point, while walking through the library Kid A calls out to Kid B on the other side of the floor his salutations and starts a conversation. I ask him to keep the noise down. He tells me it's OK as he was leaving anyway.

He does leave, the conversation getting gradually louder as the two conversants move further and further apart.

*shakes head in despair at the state of the future*

*realises is getting prematurely old*

Sorted.

2007-11-20T13:42:00.000Z

It turns out the Gas people were trying to charge me for everything on the meter from zero through to the current reading, or as the lad on the other end of the phone said, "about enough to heat Wales."

Anyway, they've sorted it all out now, without me having to phone them. I did email them during the weekend and intended to call them this afternoon, but didn't have to as the beat me to it. If they hadn't sorted it out, I probably would have spent this blog naming and shaming, however since they cleared it up in a speedy fashion, were friendly and apologetic, I'll take this space to say Thank you Scottish Power. You may have cocked it up to being with, but at least you have the good grace to sort it out efficiently.

Am slightly disappointed I don't have another Tesco to boycott, however.

That can't be right.

2007-11-17T18:10:00.000Z

Gas bill, 01/08/2007 - 01/11/2007

£643+VAT

Ubuntu

2007-11-16T18:48:00.000Z

I haven't blogged for a while, not because there's been nothing to blog about, but because I just haven't needed to share. Selfish? Quite possibly.

There's a suggestion that blogging is a form of therapy - I think everyone who reads the blogroll will agree that this is true to a certain extent. Looking back to last year, to just how stressed I was, and how much this was flowing through into my blogs, I think it is reflective of my new-found (even if fleeting) serenity that I'm not blogging so much anymore. By the way, the kids and I mutually hate each other.

That's not to say I'm not reading... I'm just not participating as I once did.

Anyhoo, since going the full hog with Ubuntu a month back, I've been quite pleasantly surprised at the ease of the transition. Almost everything I've wanted to do has just worked and been just there when I wanted it. I do still have a couple of minor niggles. The first is my wireless connection, which seems to drop from time to time, and won't reconnect without rebooting. It has dropped while I am writing this blog, and I am caught between saving what I have thus far written into TomBoy notes and carrying on later, or forgetting the whole thing and going to have a bath.

The other is the ugliness of the buttons in Firefox. If anyone else is using Ubuntu, try this.

Other than that, I really, really like it. Oh, and three days after I wrote the original version of this article, the connection seems fine again now. Maybe an update fixed it...

A Question.

2007-10-27T17:53:00.000Z

Where do you get your music from?

I used to be a fan of Napster (the paid service, not the other one). However since going the way of the penguin, I've hit a stumbling block. Napster doesn't run on Linux, and I can forget about trying to play anything with DRM.

I'm considering going back to getting everything on CD and ripping it myself, but I can't help but think I've missed another option.

How do you get yours?

I can see clearly now.

2007-10-13T08:08:00.000Z

Last week I mentioned that I was ill. So ill in fact I didn't get around to saying what was wrong with me until the comments. Gah, it was horrible.

In my slight out of body state, I decided it would be a good idea to try the beta release of Ubuntu. Since installing PCLinuxOS I haven't booted into Vista once, nor have I been tempted to for any reason - everything I needed was right there. My theory was to give Ubuntu another go - if it worked I would give my laptop a clean installation and forget about Windows. If it didn't, I would give my laptop a clean installation of PCLOS and forget about Windows once and for all.

Either way, I wasn't going back to Vista unless something went horribly, horribly wrong, but just to be safe it would be there until the final moment. You know where this is going? Well done. I didn't.

I booted up the Ubuntu LiveCD. I imagine that most people reading this far into this entry know what a LiveCD is, but just in case... a LiveCD is a CD which boots onto your computer without changing anything on your hard disk. You can try out different operating systems without the worry of damaging any of your data. A drawback is that it can be kinda slow until you install it properly - Some come with an option to install the operating system if you like what you see.

I liked what I saw. It is only a beta release, but a late beta (the final version is due out in just a few days), and everything was ticking over nicely. WiFi worked without any configuration whatsoever (apart from my security code, naturally) and it was all pretty fast - faster than Vista which is saying something as until now Ubuntu was still running off the CD.

So I went ahead, and hit install, ready to partition the drive so that I could dual boot and compare and contrast PCLOS with Ubuntu, but keeping Vista there to backup all my emails and whatnot ready for the transfer.

I was working on automatic. Yes! I want to install. Yes! Guide me through it. Yes! Use the entire disk....

...bugger. I really should have paid attention to those options before hitting the "install" button. And the "are you sure?" button.

Ah well, it was going to happen sooner or later. Might as well have been now. Considering that what I am currently writing this blog on is still technically beta, it's very polished - sure, it's constantly updating itself and so it's very nearly the "final" version, but I haven't had a single issue with it so far with a good few days of usage. I really like it.

As I've said before, I've been put off going full hog with any Linux distribution. Part of this is because of an uncertainty over whether I could actually live with it. Now I have no real choice, and I can't say I'm particularly upset.

Now to convince Ween to let me install it on the main PC...

Ill.

2007-10-08T08:59:00.000Z

So much for a nice relaxing break in the Cotswolds. After booking into the apparently quaint pub near Winchcombe into the "superior" room, only to find it is directly above the speakers for the late night disco the following night, we did our best to get a good night's sleep.

A heavy cold put the end to that idea. Roll forward to the following day - a nice day out at an Arboretum and Falconry Centre (I'm glad that they didn't get those two mixed up - watching someone try to bait and catch a flying tree wouldn't be fun) topped off with a pleasant meal at a nearby BAlti. Got back just in time for the Disco, which started at 8.

At half ten, we started the drive home. We got home an hour before the disco was due to end.

Two questions - who puts the most expensive room in the house closest to the noise? Also.... who organises a late night disco on a Sunday? Do people not work in the Cotswolds?

That was three questions. So shoot me - I'm ill.

Pain.

2007-10-05T18:07:00.000Z

A few weeks back, I decided it would be a good idea to join a gym.

Actually, that's a lie. David, whom I managed to convince to work with me for a few weeks, convinced me to join a gym. He is my "partner" and we get a little discount.

I have only completed my Cardio induction so far, but weights will follow next week. My current workout is as follows:-

15km bike
2000m rower
10minutes cross trainer set to intervals.

While the cross trainer and rower were fine (about 10 minutes to complete the rower, and obviously another 10 minutes for the cross trainer) the bike surprised me - it was a killer. The way I have been riding must have been very laid back, or incorporated a lot of down hills. I assumed I could fit 15k into 45 minutes easily - my trainer wanted it closer to 30.

I barely pushed it into 45 (41 minutes today... but it was 47 on Wednesday).

Gyms are evil.

Where has all the Ubuntu gone?

2007-09-29T09:27:00.000Z

A while back I toyed with the idea of migrating my computer to Ubuntu. I never did, for a variety of reasons. The key one was getting Wifi to work on my Advent lappy - a problem a fair number of people seemed to be having, and no one had an answer which seemed to work consistently.

So I started playing with a few other distributions, though none felt right. I went back to just using XP on the home PC, and Vista on the laptop. I have grown to hate Vista - not for all the usual reasons, but just because it just shouldn't have been installed on such a low spec machine, and frankly that was my mistake for buying it preinstalled.

A few days ago I downloaded PCLinuxOS. Now, let me make one thing clear - one of the main reasons I think Linux hasn't taken off is that there are too many distributions, too many people developing too many variations, all that work spread too thinly. UBuntu appealed to me because of the large development team, and financial backing. It felt, and feels, professional, at least to me. Similarly I'm not a fan of the KDE desktop, which seems to be used in a growing number of distributions.

PCLinuxOS has a clunky name, a small development team, no guarantees about updates, almost too blatantly an attempt to rip off a few trademarks and worst of all, KDE. However, I thought I would give it a go - just to see if Wifi will work out of the box from the LiveCD.

Blow me, it did. OK, let's install it and play around with it. Ooh... it's fast, even will all the nifty 3D graphics which are thoroughly unnecessary but rather pretty. Let's download a different desktop environment (Gnome for me) and play a bit more.

Actually, I could grow to like this. Vista has all but gone on my laptop (it remains simply because I wasn't expecting to like PCLOS at all). Ubuntu's next release is due out in a few weeks and I'll certainly give it a try - if Wifi will work, or be made to work, this time around I may have a dilemma on my hands, but PCLOS is growing on me.

What does surprise me, however, is the abundance of decent Linux options, actual attempts to be alternatives to Windows, rather than just toys. I wonder if Linux is, finally, growing up?

Bunny Suicides.

2007-09-25T17:53:00.000Z

So it's been a long time since I've blogged.

Yeah.

So what to tell?

Lessons learned - don't ask your friends to work with you, especially when you would be their superior, and you are well aware that they are, well, superior to you. He's only on as a temp, but even still - he's smarter than most of the IT dept, and since I'm only pretend IT he kinda shows me up a little.

Hair adverts - is it just me (please tell me it's not just me) but are the hair adverts starting to get a bit like porn? The slightly not-unattractive-but-not-conventionally-beautiful girl, the groping, dear God the groping.

And rabbits. Driving in to work the other day, a rabbit sat in the middle of the road. Being allergic to them, I am not usually overly fussed if I accidentally hit one (I'm callous like that). However I also don't go out of my way to hit them - on this occasion I narrowly missed it. Imagining the creature was already dead, looking in my rear view mirror I was somewhat surprised to see it move, hop in fact. Right to the point where my wheel would have been.

I can't help but think it was positioning itself.

Like I'm 12 again.

2007-09-02T19:55:00.000Z

Is it the James Bond music?

Is it the stylised characters, almost reminiscent of Pitfall?

Is it the amazing array of vehicles on display, including - GASP! - racecars?

Or is it the farts?

Yes, it's the farts.

Wow.

2007-08-28T17:21:00.000Z

It's been a while since I've blogged. Sorry about that.

To make up for it, enjoy this.

Some people don't have maps. Is Gervais watching? He should be. He's got to have a competitor. Yeah, that's it.

Thirsty?

2007-08-11T15:40:00.000Z

Thank you to the three young gentlemen on Portsdown Hill earlier today. You were most gracious in offering your Sprite to us - yes, we were thirsty, so thanks!

However it must be said that your manner of delivery was a little odd. While I admit we did hamper things by being in a moving vehicle, I was most impressed at your attempt to provide us with the beverage via an overhand lob and through the passenger window. Even more so as it was painfully apparent that all three of you were off your face at 10 in the morning.

I must also take this chance to apologise. The swearing which followed your kind offer was most uncalled for, and really not an appropriate way of displaying my gratitude. However, as you appeared to be making similar gestures to other nearby passing vehicles it is only a matter of time before something thanks you properly by, let's say, dooring you.

Baaaaaargee.

2007-07-20T16:19:00.000Z

It's a sure bet that the pirates and B3tans amongst the mongian circle have seen the Curry Pirate video.

Personally, I think it's a bit rubbish. Who here regularly gets takeaways and thinks they can do better? Simon?

Sometimes it does work.

2007-07-09T19:50:00.000Z

Well, blow me.

From a highway code forcing cyclists to use facilities even when inadequate, to a sensibly stated and common sense approach in one easy step. Bloody hell.

Guided By Voices

2007-07-07T20:09:00.000Z

Several years ago, when I were but a wee 'un, I used to hear things.

Now, before you all jump to conclusions, let me clarify. I'm not talking about the old Devil on the shoulder, telling me I should cheat during my Maths exam. Nor am I talking about a disembodied voice which instructs me to maim, kill, or torture innocent people.

No, my psychosis seemed much more benign.

I used to hear a laugh. Whenever I was in a relatively crowded location, such as a busy street or shop, I would be happily intent upon my merry way. But sometimes the laugh would come, sometimes not... yet always the same laugh. I'm sure we agree that no two laughs are the same, and this one did not mock. Rather it was a happy laugh, a content laugh.

Were I a logical man (and on the whole I am) I would put it down to stress. At the time I heard it I was going through the youthful period bliss of examinations and I guess a certain amount of that weighed down on me. Inf act I cannot say the last time I heard the laugh. It was at the very least more than ten years ago.

Now then, I have started hearing other things, still just as benign. I hear my phone tell me I have a message... I feel it vibrate. Sarah calls me, but yet she didn't. I awake to the doorbell, but with no one there.

Pleas don't take these for daily events, for they most certainly are not. I probably wake up to the doorbell once a year, and then after checking drift off quite happily. But occur they do. I could put it down to some other stress, something else that isn't quite right with my life (read back in my blog).

But what I want is for someone to say is Yes! Yes I get that.

For Stu.

2007-06-29T17:06:00.000Z

I love the Have your Say feature on the Beeb's website. Not to post to, just to read. It's just like Usenet was (is?) - the sole purpose to drive together thousands of people whose only desire in the world is to have an argument.

Anyway, today I saw this, and felt inclined to share...

Now we know more.

2007-06-23T09:50:00.000Z

EDIT: You may want to read the first letter in the post below in order to remaind yourself about what's going on.

COMPOSTING AND ANAEROBIC DIGESTION

Thank you for your email of 3 June following my colleague’s reply regarding composting and anaerobic digestion. I have been asked to reply.

As my colleague stated, composting plays an important role in diverting biodegradable waste from landfill, therefore, reducing the amount of methane produced at these sites. During the process of commercial composting methane is still produced, however, this occurs in a more controlled environment than at landfill and can be used to recover energy from waste.

The Environment Agency and WRAP have created a Quality Protocol for the production and use of quality compost from source segregated biodegradable waste, this was published on15 March 2007. The Quality Protocol will help determine when compost can be considered as fully recovered and no longer waste for the purposes of the Waste Framework Directive (WFD) and should improve market confidence in the quality of compost, encouraging higher levels of demand for this material recycling. More details can be found at:

http://www.environment-agency.gov.uk/subjects/waste/1019330/1334884/1713670/

Our newly published Waste Strategy for England 2007 emphasises the need to make waste prevention and reuse a central activity in all of our lives. It also stresses the need to maximise the amount of energy we recover from waste through processes such as anaerobic digestion. Anaerobic digestion is the biological treatment of biodegradable organic waste in the absence of oxygen, utilising microbial activity to break down the waste in controlled conditions. This process produces biogas, which is rich in methane and can be used as a source of renewable energy and a digestate, which is nutrient rich and can potentially be used as a soil conditioner.

Further information on the work Defra is doing to establish even more sustainable waste management practices can be found at the following website address:

http://www.defra.gov.uk/environment/waste/strategy/index.htm

Defra - Customer Contact Unit

So now we know.

2007-06-02T07:31:00.001Z

In an earlier post, I posited the theory that taking organic matter out of bins and putting it in composts, and therefore away from landfills, actually slows down the degrading process and is harmful to the environment.

Well, it turns out that I was utterly wrong, at least according to DEFRA. They say...

Dear Mr Kouros,

COMPOSTING AND LANDFILLING

Thank you for your letter of 5 May about composting and landfilling. I have been asked to reply and apologise for the delay in doing so.

Any potential benefits from landfilling biodegradable waste would be small compared to the benefits of composting and diverting waste from landfill. Composting waste that would otherwise go to landfill also reduces landfill methane emissions, which account for 3% of total UK greenhouse gas emissions. Composting will play an increasingly important role in diverting biodegradable waste from landfill in line with the Government's sustainable waste management objectives.

Composting is supported by a range of measures that promote sustainable waste management: including the Waste and Resources Action Programme's support for home composting, and statutory recycling and composting targets for local authorities.

The amount of biodegradable municipal waste (BMW) being landfilled continues to fall: from 13.9 million tonnes in 2004-05 to 12.4 million tonnes in 2005-06. To meet our EU Landfill Directive targets, the amount of BMW the UK sends to landfill needs to fall to 11.2 million tonnes in 2010, 7.46 million tonnes in 2013 and 5.22 million tonnes by 2020.

I hope that this letter addresses your concerns.

Defra - Customer Contact Unit

Although I am now left with the concern that the methane emissions will be diverted from the landfill to composts. Where does that 3% go? Will we be forced to reduce our compost emissions by 2020?

Be Right, Back.

2007-05-13T08:00:00.000Z

Sometime over the past week or so, I appear to have done something very silly. Namely I lifted a pot in not quite the appropriate manner, and done some damage which causes my lower back to go into crazy muscle spasms everytime I try to do anything such as, say, breathe. Oh God, the agony of actually moving.

I booked myself in for an appointment with the physio, who seemed to do some good, but it only lasted a few times. Now I'm back where I started. She also told me I have a slight curvature of the spine which is wholly unrelated to the current pain, but still, it's nice to know.

In a way I'm glad I don't do my old job, which required me to be sat at a desk on the phone and typing on a keyboard all day. At least now I can stand around, lean against walls, and still look as if I'm actually doing something beneficial.

This weekend, however, has mostly been a case of lying on the floor reading with as much enthusiasm as I can muster in the hope of diverting my own attention. I've just finished Winter in Madrid. It's very good, though I must confess that parts of it disappointed me a little... particularly when the person at the end did the thing. If you've read it you'll know what I mean.

Anyone ever seen that episode of Scrubs where Dr. Cox hurts his back, and every time he moves "You Can Be My Hero" plays in the background? That damn song has been stuck in my head for a week now. Get it out. For the love of God, hand me that screwdriver, and help me get it out.

I'm still on a high.

2007-05-07T08:59:00.001Z

I'm twelve again.

A Grand Day Out.

2007-05-05T16:57:00.000Z

Today has mostly been spent at Houghton Lodge - that sort of open garden where everything is done on an honesty basis, even tea and cakes. You go in, do what you want, and then leave the money behind for it.

I like that. There's far too little of it... I nearly said far too little nowadays, but that's naive and rose tinted. Any injection of such a mindset is a welcome change.

If you get the chance to go there, do. Don't expect Lost Gardens of Heligan, but it's nice. And they have Alpacas, which is always a bonus.

I'm also trying to find out a little more about my composting query from the other day... hopefully the truth is out there.

Bin there.

2007-04-28T16:49:00.000Z

Hm. Something really wound me up yesterday, and I was intending to blog about it. Can't remember what it was for the life of me now. Goes to prove something, anyway.

Instead, a question. A question which has bugged me for a while, though I've never really looked into the answer, mainly because I don't know what I'm talking about and therefore don't know where to start.

So... simplifying the household waste situation somewhat, you get degradable and non-degradable rubbish. Degradable stuff, vegetable food waste for example, is usually quite good to stick in your compost, and the non-degradable stuff is what ends up at the landfill, or is recycled, usually the former.

Only non-degradable rubbish isn't really... it just takes a very very long time to break down.

Now I had always assumed that organic matter had some sort of impact upon this action, helping nasty plastic stuff to break down a little quicker... exactly the sort of stuff we're taking out of our bins to stick in the garden compost and never do anything with. So landfills are go to get larger and larger at an ever-increasing rate, and be around for much much longer because we think we're being kind to the environment by sticking potato peelings in our garden.

Are composts killing the planet, or have I got it all wrong?

Bollocks.

2007-04-25T16:32:00.000Z

Today I had to hand out my first proper bollocking. I'm fairly confident that I got away with my hands shaking as I gave them both a copy of the IT Conditions of Use.

What did I give them the bollocking for? Well, a few things over the course of the day that added up, but mostly down to watching Hot Fuzz on the network computers... it was pirated, but nevertheless I did feel kinda guilty about that.

Cynicism.

2007-04-22T16:04:00.000Z

Call me selfish, but I've never really been all that keen on marriage. I guess it comes from having seen too many fall apart, and losing faith in the whole idea. If so many people can say "I do" and yet don't, what value does it have even if I stand by the statement?

Over the years, I've talked this over with Ween, and I think she understands. I would be more than happy to do something else to demonstrate commitment, but I haven't been convinced about that final step. I see the status quo as a broken system, and I'm not certain that I would want a part of it.

Yesterday we went to a wedding of a friend, and had a great time. Nothing too embarrassing happened (well, maybe it did, but I'll apologise when they come back from the honeymoon) and it was actually rather nice. I'm not saying that I'm warming to the idea, but it was a good day, and the couple are great together.

What did strike me as odd and reinforced the feeling of a broken system, however, was how forced the whole event was in places. The wedding proper took about half an hour. The various professional photographs, which required everyone to pose and stand around, took about twice that.

The photographs will be the lasting mementos of the day... and yet they are in my mind utterly false. There was no point in the day where all the girls decided amongst themselves to stand in a line and throw their hands in the air, and neither did the groom's friends spontaneously decide to show off their socks to each other... and yet the couple will have a record of both events, photographed as if they were a spur of the moment frolic.

Meh, maybe I'm just a grouch. However, if we were to get married or whatever, we set two ground rules yesterday:-

1. A maximum of two posed photographs.

2. No smoking. Even outside. (Yes, I am a grouch).

Moving swiftly on... anyone know how to install a chimney and fireplace?

First (proper) day.

2007-04-16T16:52:00.000Z

Boy, that went fast. Now I'm starting to get a feel for who will be the pesty students, and I'll have to keep an eye on, and also a feel for asserting myself to make them keep quiet ("But... you can't tell us off... you're a student, aren't you?") and the silly librarian questions from last week quickly dissolved into nothingness when they realised that no, I'm not a moron, and yes, I am aware that if someone owes a gazillion pounds in overdue fees they're not allowed to borrow any more books.

Kinda makes you wonder who they employed before, really.

Highlights of the day: erm, dunno if there was one really, it all kinda went too quick for that. I had intended to get back in time for a ride, but that didn't happen. I really should have Monday as a rest day anyway, so I'll chalk it up to that... ignoring the fact that everyday has been a rest day.

White Dog Poo.

2007-04-15T09:30:00.000Z

Every now and then, we all hear that age-old discussion about white dog poo, and why we no longer see it on out streets.

I'd like to think that this is partly due to the fact that more dog owners are responsible, and actually pick up after their animals. However, due to the fact that I can't look at the surrounding scenery when out for a walk, instead staring at the ground in front of my lest I step in the brown stuff (which stinks more than cow pat - avoidance is worthwhile) this is not true.

Today, I did indeed see some white dog poo. I would have taken a picture of it as evidence, but, well, y'know.

White dog poo. I've seen it. It's the future.

Librarianism.

2007-04-12T20:18:00.000Z

The thing about Librarians is, and, well, they're all very nice and all, but...

"This is what we do when someone wants to borrow a book."

"This is what we do when someone is overdrawn."

"This is what we do when someone wants to renew a book."

"This is what we do when someone wants to buy some printing credit."

And it's all very important, don't you know.

I'm not going to be disparaging about my new job, because, well, frankly, it's still miles better than my old one, and I haven't even started yet. The students come back next week, and that's when the questionsican'tanswer all start and I get made to leave. Other than that, however, the people, the place, are all very nice. Yes, half an hour for lunch isn't really long enough, but whose to complain when I'm home by five?

Well, that was easy.

2007-04-10T15:26:00.000Z

Odd how you can get worked up about something... and know that there's no need to. Yes I was nervous, though not as bad as Paul's "thin shits" and definitely not the being sick in the bushes beforehand either. It's also nice to not have to worry about the job proper for a few more days, as there are no students around just yet - I won't even get thrown into the deepend for quite a few more weeks, as my full CRB check won't come back, and so they can't leave me on my own.

I did have a "so that's what my job really is*" moment, where you realise that the advertisement and interview process skirted around the subject matter a little. A fair few staff members are into cycling, so hopefully that will encourage me to get out more as well.

Sadly lunch is only 1/2 hour (with various breaks in the morning and afternoon) though gym membership is free. Everyone seems really friendly (if slightly hermit like) and I think I'm by far the youngest person there. But then, what does that matter?

I think I may like it here.

* Librarian. I can live with that.

Oh, really?

2007-04-07T08:14:00.001Z

My blog is worth $2,258.16.
How much is your blog worth?

Freedom.

2007-04-05T07:28:00.000Z

Just a few days left of non-employed freedom and I have to start working again. I give myself three days before I hate it. Sadly, rather than enjoying the luvverly weather I'm wrapped up in a dressing gown, and about to run a bath for myself because I feel like shit.

Part of the reason is the shop across the road had a break-in last night (nice neighborhood, this) and the alarm, and ensuing kerfuffle meant I got very little sleep. That's kinda irrelevant, however, as I wasn't asleep beforehand either. I believe the appropriate term is "the squits."

Whether this is due to having eaten something I shouldn't, I don't know. What I do know is that I am remarkably nervous about starting on Tuesday. I don't know what is expected of me, or really what to do at all. I haven't even started there, and I'm feeling like the Imposter again.

Bah. It was all good while it lasted.

Swim how far?

2007-03-31T06:07:00.000Z

Arf!

Addicted.

2007-03-25T17:38:00.000Z

Must. Stop. Watching.

Bah.

2007-03-24T08:13:00.000Z

For this favourite thing, I've gone and bought myself a Creative Zen Vision:M, and it's really good. The sound quality is very impressive, and I like the intuitive user interface.

However...

One of the reasons I bought it was for trips on the bus/train to my new job. I would quite like to be able to download and watch BBC's video podcasts of their Breakfast bulletins and Newsnight etc. Unfortunately, the BBC only offer these in the MP4 format, which the Vision:M doesn't handle.*

Anyone know how to convert MP4 files to, ooh, let's say AVI?

*Yes, I should have done more research.

Money money money.

2007-03-21T16:00:00.000Z

So, Gordon Brown (texture like sun) has lowered the base rate of tax from 22% to 20%. That's pretty impressive, I'm sure we all agree.

But what seems to have been sidestepped is that he is also abolishing the 10p tax rate on the first £2150 above the personal allowance - it will be a 20% rate across the board. Simpler, anyway, but this will mean that not everyone will make the grand savings that Flash seemed to imply. For me, at least, I will be saving about £40.

I'll put it towards my council tax increases.

Don't shoot the Sheriff.

2007-03-20T16:58:00.000Z

I hate first days. The nerves always get to me. Today, the "first day" of my new job was no exception... though on this occasion I was only there for an hour, and the main reason for being there at all was to meet everyone, and to get an idea of what I will actually be doing.

Turns out that what I will be doing is shaping up to being quite interesting... not that I have much of an idea of what it is yet, and neither do they. My predecessor left (obviously) and now their deputy (well, my deputy) is leaving too. A new one will be hired to start a couple of weeks after I do - some time towards the end of April. Effectively I will be given a clean slate to do whatever I want - to drive the department forward in a manner of my choosing. Within reason, obviously.

As a side note... I have a deputy! How cool is that?

Anyway. One of the tasks that needs doing is to create an online induction for the students wishing to use the new library and I.T. centre. Apparently the existing team have knocked together a prototype, which I got to look at today. It was interesting... and needs a bit of work. Which is good - I like a decent challenge.

None of the new computers use Vista, which is fine by me, and as two floors of the new building are effectively mine, I get to be the first member of staff to step inside the finished product on my first day.

I've rambled, haven't I? None of the above is coherent in any way whatsoever, is it?

Oh well.

Dirty.

2007-03-13T14:59:00.000Z

So I've bit the bullet, and am writing this from the confines of Windows Vista... and I hate to say it, these being first impressions only, but I rather like it.

I bought myself a new laptop today, partly for work reasons, and partly because my old one hasn't worked for many months meaning I've been stuck in the Study whenever I wanted to use the computer, which is pretty much all day. So giving myself a budget of £500, I went out and bought a new lappy, came home with some change, the new shiny, and Windows Vista Home Premium pre-installed.

D'yoo'no wot? It looks pretty nifty. I can't really see anything frontend which would justify the cost of it, but on the whole, I do quite like it. Albeit it in a "you bastard Ubuntu, keep up!" kind of way.

Well, fuck me.

2007-03-12T13:55:00.000Z

(I have said before that I swear, haven't I? Well, I do.)

Anyways... today was the day of the big interview, and I wasn't as nervous as I have been for some, but not as laid back as others either. I met the other candidates, who really knew their stuff, and had a tour of the educational establishment, as well as a look at the new building.

Afterwards, we each had a little test on using Excel and Word, and Google(!) and other twaddle, and then we had our interviews... which I couldn't help but think I talked too much during, and repeatedly repeated myself myself, but all done now.

One other candidate in particular was right on the button, and internally judging them, I could tell that he would be the sort of person for the job. After we finished, I cheekily asked him for a lift, and got his impressions. I told him that I felt he was the strongest there, so convinced was I that it would be his. He is that good, and was already doing a similar role for less money at another location.

So I get home (about half an hour ago) and the phone rings. Here it comes, the dreaded rejection.

But, lo! What is this?

Why, they only want to give me the bloody job! Hur-fucking-rah! Can I start mid April? Yes! Can we pay you more to work for us? Yes! Can you look after two floors of a brand-spanking new building? Yes!

What's more, I got 100% in that silly test. The only candidate who did. Well, as I said, fuck me.

Yay! Work!

2007-03-09T12:31:00.000Z

So I'm doing a temporary contract job next week, three days, hourly rate 33.3% over my old daily rate, expenses paid, including accomodation, food and travel (as it is away from home).

What am I doing, you say?

Well, XYZ Publishing need me to do my old job for a short while, because the people in the new office don't know how.

It's money, isn't it.

Interview.

2007-03-08T17:26:00.000Z

Golly, that was fun.

I had an interview this afternoon for Mashed Potatoes Inc. and it went rather well... not "I've got the job on the spot" well, but it was better than I imagined. I don't really want the job, mind. It looks a tad dull, and definitely doesn't pay enough, but it was good practice.

I have the interview for one I do want on Monday. Now that one I'm nervous about!

Day Off.

2007-03-05T15:32:00.000Z

After the redundancy, I decided that I would let my hair down, what little I have of it, for a week. This being this week. I have an interview lined up for a job I don't want on Thursday, which will be good practice, and one for a job I do want on Monday. Other than that, and a few more applications, this week is mine.

So, Monday.

Got up about 7:30ish. Pottered around the house, and had a cup of tea.

9:30 Got ready to cycle into town. Found bag, gloves, shorts, hat, and keys. Couldn't find pump. Damn you Omally. Checked shed for pump. Checked cupboards for pump. Checked bedroom for pump. Checked kitchen for pump.

9:45 Checked shed again for pump. Found pump. Pumped up tyres, and headed for town.

10:00 Arrived in town, locked bike, and headed to new Cafe for a hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin. It was very nice. Read a bit of Lee Child's Killing Floor. It's a bit of a pot-boiler, but good enough fun.

10:30 Headed to the surgery and placed a repeat prescription request. Started to cyle up the biiiiig hill towards Salisbury.

10:45 Realised the hill is too big, and took a detour.

10:50 Found an alternative biiiig hill while on the detour. Grumbled, and carried on anyway.

11:15 Got to top of hill. Yay me. Decided to ride down the hill back the way I came. It was more fun than the way up.

11:25 Back in town. Bought a sausage roll. Et it.

12:00 Went back home, went shopping.

13:00 Finished shopping. Pottered for a bit.

14:45 Went to get my hair cut.

15:30 Returned from getting my hair cut.

I take all of the above as conclusive proof that my life is pretty damn dull, and that I am unfit. Tune in tomorrow for the next installment of Kourosism's Modern Life, wherein I go to see my best friend Heffer.

No.

2007-03-01T20:45:00.000Z

It's an interesting experience to need/want a new job, to need/want more money to come in, and yet to turn people down when the offer you a position with good prospects, decent money and semi-interesting role.

Admittedly this would be working for a company whose sole business is directly related towards the deaths of thousands of people each year, but still...

With a tear in my eye and a spring in my step.

2007-02-28T10:13:00.000Z

Aren't solicitors fun? I'll leave that statement just as it is, and move swiftly on...

So today is my final day at XYZ Publishing, and I'll be blowed if I actually do any work today. I guess I had better write a leaving speech in preparation, so I should keep this blog relatively short. In lieu of any significant content, I'll share some emails that people have sent after being notified of my leaving to spend more time with my family:-

All I can say is Have Faith and follow your nose to do what you want to do in life.

I'll ... suggest you are uncertain about your gender.

Oh, no!

Oh hell.

Last Day.

2007-02-26T15:36:00.000Z

Well, they've finally got around to advising me when my final day will be.

It'll be Wednesday.

Sadly I've still not got any paperwork to show to the solicitor or been able to put my X against. Ah well, a few months paid as a boot-out will do me nicely, so I guess I can't really complain.

Reasons to be happy #3.

2007-02-17T13:37:00.000Z

At some point this year, I had hoped to complete the C2C route, Whitehaven to Sunderland. Looks like I may be able to now!

Reasons to be happy #2.

2007-02-16T11:19:00.000Z

I've just done the maths, and figure I don't have to work for the next couple of months. Two months to find a new, decent, job seems quite reasonable.

Reasons to be happy.

2007-02-14T14:05:00.000Z

A little reminder for myself, on a daily basis, to keep smiling... hope you guys enjoy it too.

First of all, Americans are NOT stupid. *

*Yeah, I know you're not really, but these guys need to really go back to school.

Words of Wisdom.

2007-02-12T15:30:00.000Z

While visiting a friend over the weekend, he asked what I was doing for my birthday. I told him I was being made redundant.

"Ah," he said sagely, "You are being given the gift of time."

Bugger.

2007-02-09T17:49:00.000Z

Today I had the meeting. You know the one. It's when the new owner of the company comes down to introduce himself, meet everyone, and have a chat about roles in the company, and to make you redundant.

Like Paul said a few weeks ago, I'm technically "at risk" but we all know what that means, especially since no one else is.

So maybe this will make me get off my lazy ass and get a better job. Maybe not. Either way, it's come as a surprise, and yet not - truth be told, I'm surprised it didn't happen months ago... though logically I can see why they wouldn't want to do that for the transition period either.

I want to keep typing to let it all off my chest, but really just one word sums it up...

Fuck.

One Rule.

2007-02-07T07:10:00.000Z

Apparently there's a fear that the mailbombs from the past few days have been sent by disgruntled motorists, upset at congestion charges, or speeding fines, or points, or whatever. Even that joke of a campaign site, Safespeed has joined in the debate. I'll let you fine people enjoy their findings without comment.

Personally, I don't believe it matters who is actually doing this, or why. It matters that they are, and that is all. As much as we may complain about Blair or this or that, no one is really pushed too far in this country, and there are plenty of avenues to protest and debate what is wrong or right in our country. The people who are trying to maim or kill innocent folk are no better than fundamentalists who think that Allah will look kindly upon them if they blow themselves up*.

Which brings me to my point. From the BBC News website right now...

See it?

There's a nice big article at the top about people arrested on terrorism charges, but no mention at all of two attempted terrorism attacks perpetrated over the past two days. I do not believe that the government, or the Police, or security services are victimising the Islamic population in Britain, but I do think that the meedja just might be... and at the end of the day, that just might be more important.

* Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not transgressors. (2:190)

Bonus!

2007-02-02T13:02:00.000Z

At crappy job I was due a bonus this month just for sticking it out (as much as I hate them, they do pay well, which is part of the reason I stick around). This was to be paid by the old owner.

I was also due another bonus later in the year, if made redundant by that time.

Imagine my surprise when I open up my payslip to find I've been paid for both! Hurrah! Sadly, this does also mean my Student Loan payment also increased this month (by £233...ouch!) which I hope won't have a knock on effect over the following few months, but we'll see.

So I'm slightly happier today. At least I have a bit of a buffer if I don't have any work to go to soon.

Oh, go on then...

2007-02-01T13:33:00.000Z

... nicked from 60.

1. Where were you 1 hour ago? Same desk, but applying for jobs rather than procrastinating. Yes, I am applying for jobs on work time.

2. Who will be your next kiss? Peck or tongues? Ween, peck.

3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes. This book.

4. When is the last time you went to the mall? Months ago, I'm glad to say.

5. Are you wearing socks right now? Yes. Black ones.

6. When was the last time you went out of the state? I'll take state to be country, so that would be November when I went to Cardiff.

7. Have you been to the movies in the last 7 days? No. The last film I saw at the cinema was Casino Royale.

8. What was the last thing you had to drink? Innocent Detox smoothie

9. What are you wearing right now? A lacey blac... ahem. Blue shirt, grey suit trousers.

10 Last food you ate? Egg mayo, sausage, and ketchup baguette. With crisps.

11. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? No. I can't remember when I last bought some clothes.

12.Do you have a pet? Two cats, Sooty and Smudge.

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Does Dancing on Ice count? Yes, I do watch Dancing on Ice. It's quite good.

14. What was your favorite class in high school? English

15 What is the last thing you purchased online? Booked a hotel room in York for a weekend.

16 How old are your parents? This is awful... I don't actually know. I have a rough idea, but I don't know.

17. Are you in love? Yes.

18. Do you miss anyone? Yes, my grandad. I don't think I knew him well enough, which is odd as I didn't know my other grandparents at all.

19. Last play you saw? Oooh, that would have been aaaages ago. Next one will be Swan Lake on Ice in February if that counts. See, there's the Ice thing again.

20. Ever go camping? Yes.

21. Were you a top set student in school? I was in maths, and then they made a top-plus set which they didn't invite me into. I can't say I was too bothered. Other than Maths, we didn't have sets.

22 Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Sometimes, but not often. Cologne that is. I wear perfume all the time.

23 Do you have a tan? No

24 How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't think I will ever feel old enough to have kids. I still feel 18 and lost in the world. Ween would like kids soon, now she is in her early 30s (shh... I didn't say that), so probably soon.

25. Do you collect anything? Only when I was a kid. Just normal kid stuff, stickers and such.

26. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? When I was breathalysed about six years ago. I had someone in the boot of the car.*

27 Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? Erm... I don't think I have, actually. Does it taste different?

28. Last time you took a shower? Sunday, just after swimming. I'm a bath boy most of the time.

29 Are you someone’s best friend? I don't think so, other than Ween.

31. What’s the last TV show you watched? Fat Men Can't Hunt.

32. Do you own a Britney Spears C.D? No. I do have a Spice Girls one somewhere though.

33. Are you a Lost fanatic? Yes. I'm going to be very angry if they finish it without resolving anything. I've been burnt before... Firefly. Who were you Book? I need to know! And Mal, dear Mal, don't you see that Inara loves you. And River Tam, you need more of "your turns" Oh, now you've started me off. Bring back Firefly! There needs to be a Serenity 2!

34. Have you ever eaten an entire pint, or more, ice cream by yourself? I don't think so.

35. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car when you’re driving alone? No, but I should. Good for the lungs, you see.

36. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didn’t ask her/him out because you were afraid? Yes.

37. Have you ever written a poem/story about your love life? Yes! Here!

38. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis? Possibly not

39. What’s the current ringtone on your cellphone? The theme tune from Hustle

40. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color of your wardrobe? Blue/black.

* Actually, I didn't. But I almost did.

Interview.

2007-01-31T13:04:00.000Z

Quick update for how well the interview went.

It didn't. As in, it didn't happen at all. The guy turned up, interviewed everyone else, and then left.

And people wonder why I'm getting depressed and doubt myself.

Whoops

2007-01-30T19:25:00.000Z

Sorry Paul, I didn't mean to drive off with your bag, and sorry chappie on the pedestrian crossing, I didn't mean to run you over after driving off with Paul's bag. Pity both happened within minutes of having a conversation with Mr. G0TLG about the importance of driving safely. Bugger.

Tomorrow I have an interview. Yay, you might say.

But nay, say I.

It is an interview for my current job. The one I despise because it serves no purpose and has no focus. Employment may well be what you make it, but it is difficult to make anything when you are little more than an unwilling yesman to faceless people unable or unwilling to do their own job. The website you say? Oh, well that budget has been taken away. This is after it was granted, taken away, reduced, granted, taken away, and then granted again.

Life as a recluse is looking more and more tempting. Oddly enough, my boss said something interesting to me today. After going through all of the things I can do, and how much of a positive impact they have, she said this, almost as an afterthought (though probably not):-

You may be one of those people who travel through life eternally unhappy

Dear me, I hope not. I never used to be. With hand signals she pointed to where I am, right down there, and then asked me where I wanted to be, which was sort of middlish. I am not one of those people who wants to run the world, but I have ideas, and I'd like to have an outlet for them.

And so I come home today frustrated. Whose fault is this? Mine, naturally, though not entirely... but where do I go? I feel like a ping pong ball, one moment optimistic about the future, and whatever it may bring, yet the next I am bound by the restrictions the same future ties around my neck as the wooden floor of the past gives way.

Apology.

2007-01-23T10:14:00.000Z

Just a quick note to say I've been something of a jackass of late, so sorry.

To anyone I've been rude to, shunned, not taken the time to consider your opinions, or not made time for when I should have, I apologise. If I do it again, kick me (but not in the balls).

Education.

2007-01-21T10:18:00.000Z

A few weeks back work decided it would be beneficial for me to become a little more educated, and partake in a home-taught course. They picked a course relevant to my job (and hopefully relevant to a job I would like to get after this one) and I waited for it to arrive, which it duly did. W00t to me so far.

By golly though, they don't half throw you in at the deep end. I received a box of twenty CDs, all with codes such as 93040d and f754599 but no paperwork. My guess is the introduction for the course is figuring out where to start.

I picked a CD at random (OK, I picked it because its packaging was a slightly different shade of yellow than the others) and it just happened to be the foundation module. Score one! This is going to be easy.

Things weren't to be quite as complicated as they first appeared, however. Favourite quotes from the course so far:-

"More than one computer connected together can form a network."

"A network over a local area, such as an office, is a local area network, or LAN. An network over a wider area, is a wide area network or WAN."

"P2P networks can sometimes be used for illegitimate purposes."

Granted, I've only just started on the foundation level, and without a doubt I'm sure that this will get very quickly over my head. Right now though, I'm mighty glad I didn't pay for this course myself.

Knackered.

2007-01-17T21:48:00.000Z

Channel Hopping.

2007-01-16T16:26:00.000Z

Last minute changes of plans are fun, aren't they?

Tonight, I was fully intending to settle down with a nice casserole, probably some wine, and curl up with Ween reading a good book.

Instead, I will still be having the casserole, but am from that point driving to Portsmouth, getting on an overnight ferry to Caen so that I can spend tomorrow counting some books, and then coming back over here again. Exciting, isn't it?

Oh, and for those that will be going to the Ordnance Survey Outdoors Show (I know there's a few among you) we will be exhibiting again, so I'll be there all weekend. If anyone wants to meet up for a pint or five, send me an email, or leave a message in the comments. Kinda hoping for something to break the tedium really.

Help!

2007-01-07T10:48:00.000Z

For people that know more than I do...

Next door was involved in a car accident a few months back. It was minor, and they're OK, but the car was badly damaged. They now have a new one, while the old auto has sat in the communal car park since. OK, not great, but not annoying.

Now it has been vandalised and pushed out of its space - if it moves any further I won't be able to get my own car out.

Could anyone with the relevant experience advise just what I could do, as a third party? Could I offer to pay to get it removed, and if so how much would it cost - or does the neighbour have an obligation to do so? I don't want to cause a fuss with otherwise very good neighbours, but I am also concerned that this will encourage crime, and worry about my own car being damaged.

Tax needn't be taxing...

2007-01-06T11:56:00.000Z

...but it bloody is, isn't it?

I've been trying to find a way of calculating my overall tax expenditure for a twelve month period. It's unsurprisingly quite difficult to pin this down, and so far I've managed to find the following resources... I have probably missed something, let me know if I have. Hopefully someone else out there will find these useful too.

These are from Thisismoney.co.uk

Petrol Tax Calculator

Vice Calculator (ouch)

VAT Calculator

And then the council tax bands. Income tax, well, that's pretty easy (ahem, has a quick shifty look at latest paycheck) and NI too. Now let's tot all that up... oh dear. That's rather a lot, isn't it?

Late.

2007-01-05T14:59:00.000Z

I hate it when people turn up late to meetings, even more so when you have invited them there as you would like them to quote for offering their services to you.

I hate it even more when they demonstrate that their knowledge, experience and previous work samples is of a high enough standard that you want to hire them anyway.

Bah.

Jumping off a cliff.

2007-01-01T09:26:00.000Z

Everyone else is doing it, so why not? Resolutions...

Cycle more. Do at least one long distance route, and give a serious stab at bike commuting.
Write more. At least finish something already started.
Start a religion. What are you looking like that for? It could work. It could be the Church of Xunos or something. There, see, I've already done it.
Cut down on the booze.

I think that'll do.

Purloined.

2006-12-23T17:54:00.000Z

See Stu.

1. Ever been given an engagement ring?
No

2. Longest friendship?
Probably about ten years with Simon. Lost track though, feel bad about that.

3. Last gift you received?
A keyring with a picture of me on it.

4. How many times have you dropped your cell?
All the time.

5. When’s the last time you worked out?
If swimming or cycling counts, two days ago.

6. Thing you spend a lot of money on?
How much is a "lot"? Mortgage doesn't really count for me, it's just a bill. Maybe my Satnav or last years holiday.

7. Last food you ate?
Grilled ciabatta with cheese and mushrooms.

8. First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Fingernails, then wedding ring.

9. One favourite song?
Too many. Maybe "Peace Train" by Cat Stevens, maybe something else.

10. Where do you live?
Romsey, UK

11. Cell phone service provider?
Vodafone

12. Favourite mall store?
Anything with a door that leads out. I get claustrophobic in those places.

13. Longest job ever had?
Current job, 3.8 years.

14. Do you own a pair of dice?
Yes. I went through a Dice Man phase, which I now regret.

15. Do you prank call people?
No.

16. Last wedding attended?
Helen and Gavin.

17. First friend you’d call if you won the lottery?
Ween.

18. Last time you attended church?
Attended church, I don't know. Went into a church last May.

19. How old are you?
24

20. Biggest lie you have heard?
"no one in [Iran] should be persecuted because of his or her religious beliefs" - President Khatami

21. What do you want to drive?
I'd much rather not.

22. Where’s your favourite place to eat with friends?
Home.

23. Can you cook?
Yes. I love cooking, and I love to make something new, even if I make a mess of it.

24. What car do you drive?
2001 VW Polo

25. Best kisser?
John. Long story.

26. Last time you cried?
Not sure I can remember actually.

27. Most disliked food?
Mussels. Actually, I love mussels, but I had a bad one once and now they make me go bleurgh.

28. Thing you like most about yourself?
My hair just after it's been cut.

29. Thing you dislike most about yourself?
My hair when it's getting longer and going greasy.

30. Longest shift you have worked at a job?
I don't really pay attention to hours, and don't work shifts anyway. If I'm there and something has to be done, I'll do it, unless I should be somewhere else.

31. Favourite movie?
Usually the last decent film I've seen. Currently it's The Woodsman, but it could equally be Nightwatch, or La Haine, or Signs, or Escape from New York. No, really, that Escape from New York... it's good!

32. Can you sing?
Ish.

33. Last concert?
Never been to one.

34. Last kiss?
This morning.

35. What colour are your eyes?
Hazelly.

36. Who knows your darkest secret?
A very nice Baptist girl.

37. Last movie rented?
Probably Saw.

38. Thing you never leave home without?
Shoe-horn.

39. Favourite vacation spot?
Although I don't like flying, I've really fallen in love with Sicily. I want to go back.

40. Do you like Chinese food?
Yes.

42. Is your room clean?
Yes, but it wouldn't be if Ween wasn't here to make me tidy up after myself.

43. Laptop or desktop computer?
One desktop, one defunct laptop, one new laptop on it's way sometime in the first quarter.

44. Favourite comedian?
Lee Evans.

45. Do you smoke?
No. The smell utterly disgusts me.

46. Sleep with or without clothes?
Without.

47. Who sleeps with you every night?
Ween.

48. Long distance relationships work?
They can, but sometimes if you think it will, you would find a reason for the distance not to be there.

49. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Three times, no points, no tickets, one breathalyser, one person locked in the boot of my car.

50. Pancakes or French toast?
French toast.

51. Do you like coffee?
No.

52. How do you like your eggs?
"In the basket"

53. Do you believe in astrology?
No.

54. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Bondage body-bag John.

55. Last person on your missed call list?
As above.

56. What was the last text message you received?
No idea, and I'm not going to go find my phone to look, so this will have to remain unknown.

57. McDonalds or Burger King?
Neither. What? You want to die before 40?

58. Number of pillows?
2.

59. What are you wearing right now?
Slippers, Socks, Boxers, Jeans, two jumpers.

60. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
It's not like you'd never seen a monkey in rollerblades and dungerees before

61. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
What's one of those?

62. Can you play pool?
Yes.

63. Do you know how to swim?
Yes.

64. Favourite ice cream?

Mint Choc Chip

65. Do you like maps?
Yes, if I'm not driving.

66. Tell me a random fact about yourself?
My birthmark is on my ankle.

67. Do you do drugs?
Wine is a drug, yeah? Yes, I do drugs.

68. Ever attend a theme party?
Yes. Used to do this every Christmas. Sadly after a few divorces and children (i.e., people growing up) this has ceased to occur. I miss it.

69. What is your favourite season?
Autumn.

70. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
You mean like my cat, just now, when it fell out of our tree? That kind of stupid? OK... just then.

71. What time did you wake up this morning?
8.10

72. Best thing about winter?
People who don't pay attention on the road tend to cease to be on it for very long.

73. Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
Not ever had one.

74. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
Bungee jumping.

75. Name of your first pet?
Top Cat!

76. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
Overrated. What?

77. What are you doing this weekend?
Making food.

78. Who’s your best friend?
Ween.

79. What is the third letter of your name?
t

80. How old are your pets?
Dunno. They were all strays.

81. What colour is your backpack?
Blue.

82. Are you sick?
You ask me this after you let me fuck your dog?

84. Is the bathroom open?
Yeah, help yourself.

87. Are you smiling?
I am now.

88. Do you have on eye-liner?
No.

89. Do you miss someone right now?
Yes, lots of people. I should get out more.

90. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Taormina.

91. Do you have a Myspace?
No.

92. Are you in high school?
No.

93. Do you have a crush?
No.

94. What is your favourite nickname for yourself?
I quite like Kouros, because I chose it, but my all-time favourite is "Quiche"

95. What colour is your bathing suit?
Blue.

96. What’s your favourite brand of water?
Why oh why oh why does this question even pop into someone's head?

97. Did you go on vacation last month?
No.

98. Have you ever been on a cruise?
No.

99. Do you have a sister?
Yes, two of them. Just so that you don't get any ideas, they both look like me.

100. Are you upstairs?
Yes.

Lies, Damned Lies and Children's Stories.

2006-12-18T17:30:00.000Z

I really should learn not to give myself deadlines, shouldn't I?

OK, so Timber isn't here yet to share with y'all, so have a quick blog about my day instead. I haven't been out on my bike in a while, so figured it was about time to get some practice in.

I figured it would be nice to find a route to work, and at least do part of that journey to see how it goes. The rough course can be found here. Those of you who know where I live and work will realise there is a bit missing of the start, and a sizeable bit from the end. The route takes me about midway to work (Stockbridge) and there is about two miles missing from the start, so the route I did today was seven miles.

It took me an hour and a half. That's not very good, is it?

It was as muddy as sin, and a hard slog the whole way. Damned nice scenery to look at though, and much more entertaining that a normal drive. I just wish I didn't get a puncture on the way back. Bah!

A three hour commute, assuming that I am correct in saying that it is midway in traveling time, really isn't a very good idea. Maybe I'll have to find another way, and one that isn't so muddy in winter. Good fun though!

Rollercoaster.

2006-12-15T16:57:00.000Z

That's all over then: I have a job afterall. At least until after Christmas.

Watch This Space.

2006-12-15T12:02:00.000Z

We are going to receive an "update" this afternoon from the Chairman. We all know what this usually means, so here's... not really caring actually.

On another (more positive) note, isn't it interesting how the muse strikes? As I drove into work this mornig, I was thinking of how I haven't written anything lately, and that I really should. I plumped for writing a children's story, as I haven't written on before and I think it would be interesting. I started to name the characters, and even came up with a respectable storyline.

But I got stuck with one character, a Dormouse I think he was. I didn't know what to call him at all, and so I chose Timber - I really don't know why, as it bore no relation to his character at all, except that he may have lived in a tree.

By the time I had arrived at work I had completely forgotten the earlier story (nope... still got no idea, it'll never come back now) and instead had a complete synopsis for an entirely different story about an entirely different Timber.

I've written the first little bit which you can read below, and booked Monday off work. I'll write the rest then, and post it in my blog. Apologies as the below is very rough, even by my standards, and it will undoubtedly change by Monday. Enjoy!

TIMBER
BY PETER BANCROFT

It was Sally’s birthday, and her Grandfather had promised to give her something extra special this year. He took her down to the little shed at the bottom of the garden, and lifted her up so that she could sit down on top of an old table, where she could see everything he was doing.

Sally watched as her Grandfather filled a little brown pot up with soil, and held it in front of her. “Make a big hole in here with your thumb,” he told her, and she did. Her Grandfather then took a little acorn out of his pocket and gave it to her. “Now put this in the hole, and push it all the way down.”

Sally took the acorn, and pushed it all the way into the hole. Her Grandfather then filled in the hole with a little more soil, and watered it with a little watering can.

“This is your present, Sally. This little acorn will grow and grow until it’s big and strong like you will be. When it’s big enough, we’ll plant it outside in a special garden for you, where you can always come and see your tree.”

Sally came to visit her grandfather every week, and every week they looked at her little tree. They watched as from the soil slowly came a little green shoot reach upwards, getting ever-so slowly taller and taller.

One day, her Grandfather told her that it was now big enough to plant outside and Sally help to choose a place at the end of the garden where her tree could go. “What do you think now?” asked her Grandfather.

“I think I’ll call him Timber,” said Sally.

Sally’s Grandfather laughed. “Don’t be silly,” he said, “People don’t name trees.”

“Of course they do,” said Sally. “And my one is called Timber.”

“Then Timber he shall be.” Sally’s Grandfather took her inside, and they sat in the kitchen by a little window where they could see Timber wave gently in the breeze, as they ate fruit cake and drank lemonade.

Bah, grumble, bah.

2006-12-14T11:26:00.000Z

Hey, Kouros, you have a new job!

Woo!

But we're probably going to be making you redundant anyway.

In The News.

2006-12-13T14:06:00.000Z

We've all heard the news about the serial killer in Suffolk. I do not dispute that this is an awful series of events, and the sooner the culprit is found and this is stopped, the better. Unconditionally I feel truly sorry for the families of the victims, and naturally for the victims themselves.

However, I was concerned by a discussion on the radio this morning. The debate centred around whether or not is was appropriate for the media to refer to the victims as prostitutes, as the term undermines them and does not reflect that they were real people, with real families, and lives outside of their "work". Instead, it was argued, they should be referred to as a sex worker.

I'm not a big fan of the media in this country, but for once I found myself on their side. If my understanding is correct, someone who solicits and accepts payment in return for giving sexual satisfaction to their clients is a prositute. This is different to a porn actress, adult store clerk, lap dancer, or some other "sex worker" as there is a direct connection between the worker, and the result; in other words, they prostitute themselves, not an image of themselves or from a distance, or some product or other.

Now let me be clear - this wasn't a perjorative term being used such as nigger, cracker, whore, or whatever, but a term that has recognition in the law of the land, regardless whether the individuals used it themselves.

As a side point, if the killer appeared to be targeting entirely bank clerks (this was argued in the debate) then the media would most likely point this out. Would this undermine the memory of the people involved? Well, no... largely because this role isn't outside of societal norms.

Should one be offended that these girls were prostitutes? Maybe we should be, but we should still refer to them as such, for that is what they were. Maybe we should be offended that there is someone out there who has decided that killing girls is a good course of action to take to solve the 'problem', and just maybe we should be offended that the problem exists in the first place. Maybe we should be offended that they found that life to be the solution to their own problems, or despite them, or because of them.

Covering something untasteful with a more respectable name helps nobody in particular. Sometimes the undermining is not done by a label, or by how they are remembered, but by the actions of the person themselves.

Budget the little helicopter.

2006-12-06T11:13:00.000Z

Yay! My proposal was accepted (yes, I did put some effort into it... while I didn't want to be given yet another dead end role, I also didn't want to appear incompetant). I also have money to spend on the website! Hurrah! And it's quite a lot actually.

And my first act in my new position is to (wait for it...) book a trip to Orange! The more things change, the more they stay the same. At least this way I get to partake in two (yes, count them, two) Xmas office parties, with the MD and Chairman at both of them.

How happy am I? Ecstatic.

Website.

2006-11-29T15:28:00.000Z

Kouros, you know that website we launched a few months ago?

The one that doesn't actually do anything?

Yes. Well, we think it should actually do something now to build our income with a value-added service.

Oh, good.

And we'd quite like you to look after it.

But... I'm not a web designer...

Yes, well we think it would be a good project management exercise.

OK, that's fine. Does the site have any sort of content management system?

Not really.

Do we have anyone in house who can rewrite the site to encorporate the changes?

No.

Do I have a budget to hire anyone?

No. Can I have your project proposal tomorrow please?

Toad in the Hole.

2006-11-27T16:54:00.000Z

"Good afternoon, XYZ Publ..."

"Yes. I'd like to buy some toads in holes."

"I'm sorry, but we are a publishing company, and do not produce food items."

"Then why was I given your number?"

"I'm afraid I cannot answer that, as I do not know. Who passed the number to you, and I'll be sure to let them know?"

"Where can I buy a toad in a hole?"

"I don't know, sorry."

"Well aren't you going to find out for me?"

"No. Good bye now."

*click*

It's been a long day.

Today, I'm Most Angry About:

2006-11-26T13:56:00.000Z

(Sorry DoGGa, had to pinch your thing)

Today, I'm Most Angry About:
People who stand outside health centre entrances smoking. I go there for a swim, thank you very much, not to come out feeling all good about myself only to breathe in your acrid fumes.

Just because you are so fat, lazy, and wish to die in such an insignificant amount of time that while you drop your sweet little'un off for her dance class it doesn't occur to you to do some exercise yourself it doesn't mean that I, equally, want to share in the sweet, sweet smell of your own demise.*

Failing that, I'll wait outside when you come to pick up your cherub, and spit red wine on you. See how you like it.

Grrr-O-Meter Rating: 6/10 On the whole, I'm not an angry person (though my blog may suggest otherwise). I'm quite surprised how much this made me fume.

* Yes, I appreciate the irony. I'm trying to give up the booze, honest.

Ouch.

2006-11-24T12:47:00.000Z

And this is the car in the light of day. I wouldn't want to be the owner, poor sod. From a selfish point of view, I hope they move it quick mind.

Holy Mother of Shit!

2006-11-24T04:27:00.000Z

And we thought we lived in such a nice area... OK, not great, but not terrible either. We are occasionally woken in the early hours by drunken folk stumbling home, losing their way and having the odd argument, but that's about it.

Oh, and Annie who runs the shop, who is far too cheerful by half at five a.m.

So, anyway. Woken this morning by two guys shouting outside. All I could make out was "Fuck...fuck...police! Fuck!" and assuming it was just another drunken argument, I tried to get back to sleep.

And then... Bang... BANG!

Oh, dear. He's been shot! Someone has been shot outside my house, and they're going to die. And then I tried to get back to sleep again. Does that make me a bad person?

But still I could hear the same two voices. Curiosity got the better of me, and I looked. I was somewhat surprised. My first thought was that someone had grouped a lot of bins together, and set them on fire. Ween had a look, and corrected me: no, this was a car.

After calling the police and fire services (they already knew) I took the pictures, and then sat back to watch the proceedings. The police came first, and then the fire service, and relatively swiftly they got it put out. About twenty minutes ago a couple of nice police chappies knocked on my door and had a word. They don't think it's suspicious, which is nice.

Horrible thing for the owner, but serves them right for parking on the road and not using the car park three metres away though. *evil grin*

Nicked from Stu.

2006-11-21T11:24:00.000Z

1. My ex is still…quite scary actually.

2. I am listening to…Mark failing to fix the hand-dryer.

3. Maybe I should…go on an Open University course

4. I love…procrastinating

5. My bestfriend(s)….all live in exotic places across the country, and we rarely speak nowadays.

6. I dont understand… all the fuss about Big Brother.

7. I lost respect for…The Chairman, when while publically relating how valuable I was to the company, he gave a detailed account of someone else's job.

9. The meaning of my screen name is…a naked Grecian statue, but I really chose it after a pair of shoes.

10. Love is…not getting your way, but not minding.

11. Somewhere, someone is…dying.

12. I will always…have an irritating habit of chewing my knuckles.

13. Forever seems…too short, somehow.

14. I never ever want to lose…my way home.

15. My mobile phone is…not really necessary.

16. When I woke up this morning…my head hurt.

17. I get annoyed at…people who don't say thank you when you hold the door open for them.

18. Parties are..pretty dull affairs.

19. My pets…often get in the way.

20. Kisses are…..great when not chocolate.

Reply.

2006-11-20T09:25:00.000Z

I probably shouldn't post customer emails on my blog, but what the hell. I responded to Calendar Girl, and got a reply... (EDIT: My response first, in blue)

Thank you for your email, and for your interest in our products. I do hope that you will accept my apologies for any inconvenience that your concerns may have caused.

All of our Calendars follow the international standard ISO 8601, which is an international standard for date and time representations.

We do of course appreciate that in various locations across the world, different people see the week as starting and ending on different days. For example, in some countries, such as Iran, the week is considered to start on a Saturday. Of course, as you correctly point out, in many countries Sunday is seen as the start of the week, as the Sabbath takes place on Saturday.

We follow the ISO and European tradition of the week starting on a Monday in order to provide consistency within the agreed standards.

If you would like to learn more about ISO 8601, please visit the ISO website, at http://www.iso.org/iso/en/prods-services/popstds/datesandtime.html

Thank you again for your interest in our products, and for contacting us on this issue.

Her response...

Thankyou for your very prompt and courteous reply and the information on the website of the ISO 8601. Having read the content of the website I feel very saddened and dispondant that the world is taking this step. The implecations and consequences and indeed ramifications go beyond words. Mankind is sinking deeper into the abyss. Thankyou again and may God bless you and your family over Christmas and into the new year.

PS Thankfully we live in the year of Our Lord, AD 2006, of which the world acknowleges from His birthdate, even if they dont want to agree with it. He is soverign. Amen.

Days of our Lives.

2006-11-17T14:49:00.000Z

An email sent to your friendly neighbourhood Kouros (speeling mastikes not mine)...

Dear XYZ Publishing,

Recently I received one of your calanders (Britain 07) as a gift. Thought you may be interested to be informed that the first day of the week is SUNDAY. Perhaps you can amend this state of ignorance as it has rendered this calander useless.

There are various reasons why most calendars start on Monday and not Sunday... but we all of course work to our own internal week structure. My week starts on a Monday, because that's when I wake up and have to start being a grown up again.

Christians, Jews and Muslims often see Sunday as the start of the week, Saturday being the sabbath. Oddly, apparently Iranians see the start of the week as Saturday, their weekend consisting of Friday.

When does your week start?

Christmas Cards.

2006-11-16T13:08:00.000Z

*phone rings, and your friendly neighbourhood Kouros answers it*

"Good afternoon, XYZ Publishing"

"Hello, yes. I wonder if you could send me a Christmas Card?"

"I'm sorry, we only publish guidebooks to places like..."

"Yes, I know. I bought one from you last year, and it was very good. I wonder if you can send me a Christmas Card to say thank you?"

"..."

Mild.

2006-11-14T11:02:00.000Z

Why is the weather always mild, and what does it mean? Examples include, but are not limited to, Brr.... it's a bit mild out today, or Cor, it's mild. (*loosens tie*).

Do people just apply the term to whatever they want, or is it a catch all?

Grumblemuttergrumble.

2006-11-12T10:08:00.000Z

So far this weekend, I have....

1. Lost the game, and so have you

2. Lost Nanowrimo, simply because I am not satisfied with the direction the story is going, and want to go back to change some fundamental aspects of it. If I do that I won't complete it in time, but if I don't I'll end up rewriting the whole thing anyway after the end of the month because it's so crap. So I'm seeing it as an education - I like to get the details right, which isn't necessarily wrong, but it just isn't right for this.

3. Been left alone with a strangers three or four* year old kid at the swimming pool changing rooms. She was a really good conversationalist. Her name was Isobel.

4. Made a Poppy Appeal lady cry. I didn't punch her on the nose or anything... I think that they were nice tears, but I'm not entirely sure.

*Or thereabouts.

Um, I think you've just proved that they haven't...

2006-11-03T16:24:00.000Z

I'm still procrastinating over Nanowrimo. At least I still have a few days of annual leave to use up if I need it.

Anyway, while procrastinating, I came across this story, about the protestors at the Didcot power station.

My favourite quote came from the plant manager. He says:-

"I think they've made their point now, we must get on and continue with the
business." - John Rainford

So they've made their point, but you must get on with the business they are protesting over? I feel that the ball is not in your court.

Gah.

2006-11-02T15:42:00.000Z

A complete lack of access to the old muse today. I'm stuck around 2500, when I should be closer to 3500, if not higher. And most of that is tosh, there are even a few uncompleted sentences in there too.

Muttermuttergrumblemutter.

1000!

2006-11-01T14:14:00.000Z

Yay! 2% and gaining!

Actually, I think this could be doable. I had wanted to write about 2000 words a day, and I still could, but I think I will only just hit target today. Maybe I just haven't got into the swing of it yet.

What I am finding difficulty with is not rereading everything I have already put down. I am painfully aware that while I am happy with the structure, I am not content with the prose itself. I know that I will end up rewriting this, and assuming I hit 50,000 I will eventually need to pull the wordcount down to around 30k - not because of bloat, but simply because it needs tidying up.

If nothing else, this is probably going to be quite an education. And I better go do some proper work now.