Not so Hurrah.

OK... Like in any good meeting, apologies first.

I haven't had the opportunity to blog since I've been back, so sorry for that. Things have been, well, somewhat odd. The holiday blog will follow, but not until this weekend.

My first day back, Tuesday, consisted of a drive in with a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. A sense of foreboding if you will. I had images in my mind of arriving at work to be advised that I had been made redundant. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not really all that convenient either.

I walked into the office to face utter silence. No laughter like normal, no phones rang, and no one acknowledged my presence for a few moments... Not a good start. Was the redundancy coming my way?

Turns out while I had been away, we had had some news. The board had been approached with a bid from an unspecified consortium to buy out the company - I knew about this before I left - but now we were being told it had been rejected. Cause for celebration? Not really.

All performance related salary rises had been put on hold while the bid was in progress. They have now been put on hold for a further six months. This is in addition to the previous twelve months while the company went through a "rocky" patch.

My colleague, Debby, has announced she has been offered a new job, and has accepted - this is great news. I am delighted for her, and I am not just writing that to look good, I really am pleased for her. She was underpaid and under respected.

However, this causes a problem for me as she is not going to be replaced. I do not mean this in a "we will never find anyone as good as Debby" way. The company has decided that they are not going to hire anyone to replace her.

In essence that means that a department that once had eight people in it now just has three as various other people have been replaced, quit, or made redundant in the last few months. Within my sector this has dwindled from four people just three years ago, down to one person looking after all book sales, cash sales, sundry sales, marketing distribution, consignment accounts, agent commission and warehousing. That one person is me.

To say I'm not happy is an understatement. Today I had a chat with AP (whom I have blogged about before - great girl, and it's not her fault) basically laying down my cards. I see no long term future with the company. I will continue to give my 100% while I am there, but be it in one months time or twenty-four, one day I will leave.

I feel betrayed. I joined the company being told I was on a graduate training scheme, but three years later I am still inputting orders and answering telephones in the same customer services role I was effectively in thirty-six months ago. I have been given so many promises, yet only now I realise that none of them have been fulfilled. I was told I would get the chance to work in editorial when the opportunity arose - the chief editor found a suitable role for me, and wants me to work there, but she has been turned down time and again.

I feel betrayed.

I have been given projects to manage. But not the time to manage it in, only to see them taken away and given to a consultancy firm who charge twice as much as my annual wage per year each month. Give me the opportunity, and I could do what they do with twice as much pazazz, but time isn't unlimited.

I feel betrayed.

I have been complemented time after time for my customer care but never once given a pay rise or promotion.

I feel betrayed.

And today I learn I will be moving backwards - any interesting aspect of my job will now be taken away from me, while I struggle to maintain the workload of two. I will be little more than an overpaid answering machine and data input device. I have been told as much as that I will not be made redundant, as I am too vital - but not vital enough than to be any more than a nut on a cog.

I have been betrayed.

Hurrah!

Well, it appears we made it safe and sound after all - so much worry for nothing. I felt quite ill on the morning of departure, but when we got on the plane it all got rather comfortable, then we took off and... nothing. I felt fine again. It was most peculiar.




I do need to blog proper at some point soon about the holiday, but for now enjoy a few of snaps to the right and wait for me to come back with how I hobknobbed with the rich and famous (no, really) had a lovely time but still came back without a suntan from a country enjoying 30+ degree weather, and lost the lottery.

Teh Fear Reviewed.

Tomorrow we fly, and I still don't want to.

I've read Flying Without Fear - it's a great book, it really is, and it did solve many of my nagging issues... but I still don't really want to fly. I've tried taking my mind off the problem, and to an extent that worked. I didn't finish writing the story of HMS Pickle, but maybe I will when I get back... or is that tempting fate?

In twentyfiveandahalf hours time, we take off, and in twentyeightandahalf hours time we should land safely in Catania. If you hear of any nasty flight-based incidents in that timeframe, and it just happens to be mine, Simon's mum can have the cats. Omally, you can keep the pump. Lois, the lycra is in the top drawer next to the bed. Stu, don't forget to walk the dog. el10t, if you don't mind just leaving my post in the porch, that will be fine. Everyone else can fight over the collection of, ahem, "glossy" mags.

But most importantly, see you all next week!

Dreams.

For the last few years I've been thinking about taking some time out, and cycling around the country - as near as I can to the coast without being stupid, that is. It's just a fanciful daydream I use to pass the time while I drive to work really. In reality there are a number of things stopping me.

• Backup - someone would need to travel with me, ideally following by car, or going ahead to book accomodation and to be there for accidents etc.
• Time - getting that amount of time off work would not be easy
• Money - Bills still need to be paid, and equipment would need to be purchased, especially a fairly serious upgrade to the bike(s)

So in my heart of hearts, I know it's never going to happen, but I can dream. I like to drive to work thinking of the day I win the lottery (though I never play) where I can buy myself all the bits and pieces I would need, a Defender for my backup team(!) to follow me in, and just enjoy the experience.

What do you dream about? Will you achieve it?

EDIT: Whoops. Comments enabled again now. Sorry!

Fucking Stupid.

Apologies for swearification. In this case it's justified, because I am as above.

Note to self: When writing speculative letters of application to publishing companies, make sure to read for typos very, very carefully.

D'oh! And Grrrr!

Now that's an idea...

I've just read something I thought I would share.

"Instead of a minute's silence for rememberance, we should offer a minute's raptuous applause."

Something to think about, at least.

Sarcasm.

I am very fortunate to work with a lovely woman called Pat on a Monday and Tuesday of each week. She very kindly teaches us the ways of the world, which include the fact that men who wish to look after children other than their own are inherently "weird" to the point of paedophilia. This we can only assume include male scout leaders, primary school teachers etc.

Contrarily, she today advised us that there is nothing wrong with someone who chooses* to hire someone else to bring up their children, to talk to the children at dinner time, and to entertain the children while they sit outside. As long as that person isn't a man.


* as opposed to being placed into a position by work commitments, family issues, etc. This may be narrowed down to the very wealthy, one assumes.

< /sarcasm >

I should probably note I have nothing against Nannies - I do have something against people who are so stuck inside their own little bubble that they mistake stereotypes for, as she put it, DNA. I also have something against people who complain loudly in queues that they shouldn't have to wait because they "have a child to look after" when it is undeniable that the child is being currently entertained by the Nanny and is perfectly happy.

WIP.

Today I have been mostly playing with Google's new toy, SketchUp. The results are still pretty much work in progress, but I think it's one of those things that I will keep returning to, tweaking little bits here and there, and never really be finished as such.

A few views:-





Or (and I highly recommend this) download SketchUp, and have a nose around. You can download the file for my house here. You need to tap in the code at the bottom of the screen and hit "submit".

There aren't many plants in yet, but I have added a nod to Rex Whistler. 100 points to anyone who spots what it is, because it might be a toughie. Points can be redeemed at all participating retailers.