I see dead people.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think I see more folk lying unmoving at the side of the road than the national average. Or maybe it's just that I just stop more than most (at least judging by the number of people that rubberneck and drive past as I'm checking them out). 

I see an average of one every two years... that's not right, is it? Or is it? Really... are there a relatively large number of people who just collapse or have a kip in verges, even in the rain?

So far they've all turned out to be alive, at least after a little prodding, but I guess its only a matter of time. I do need to get my First Aider qualifications up to date as well, just in case.

I've been abused by a drunk woman who had previously been face down in the gutter for checking if she was alive. Thanked by an old lady who had fallen over and sprained her ankle (someone else arrived at the same time as me and took her to hospital) and had two pretty incoherent replies from guys with what I can only presume were mental health difficulties, the only real resolution was to call the Police and leave it to the professionals.

The latest was yesterday, in the pouring rain. We were on our way to see Mamma Mia! because there wasn't much else to do as it was so wet. It's quite good fun, by the way. I rather surprised myself by enjoying it.

Anyway, as we drove along the road, I spotted this guy lying on the pavement, head resting on his arm. Remember, this is Monsoon Britain. We pulled over at a nearby pub (and yes, the thought did cross my mind about the cause of his sleepiness) and I jumped out to check on him. He was alive (thank God) but started rambling about ambulances checking on him, but refusing to let him on board and other stuff.

I asked him if he might be more comfortable in the bus shelter (where at least it was dry, and somewhere I could point the authorities to if need be). Alas, the bus shelter was behind him... he doesn't go backwards, only forwards apparently.

He got up, and started shambling on. We popped to the Police and made a suggested someone might like to check he hasn't got lost from his carer and went to see the film. We drive back along the same route, and there he was, a little further down the road (forwards, of course) asleep on the wet, muddy grass next to a bus shelter. He wasn't there or anywhere on the road when we came home, so fingers crossed the Plod or someone else did come to give him a helping hand.

So that was exciting. I do wonder when I'm going to encounter my first violent zombie though.

Last Day!

WooHoo!

I still haven't received a written confirmation of the job offer. Allegedly I start Monday...

Why Is It...

...that most sporting events never seem to end, tying up television schedules for weeks or months on end only to be repeated the following year, and the Olympics is over before it seems to have really started?

Litterbugs.

It's a curious thing, that human trait to turn the other cheek. It's even curiouser when, for no godly apparent reason, you decide not to.

I had such an encounter earlier today, when a young lad left the local shop with an ice lolly, and dropped the wrapper on the floor. I asked him to pick it up, and he did. He left around a corner, and then came back a few minutes later with a couple of older brothers who wanted to know what my problem was.

Apparently, dropping litter doesn't matter and its just rubbish, as they informed me. The little sod grinned and dropped it again. I asked them if they'd mind people dropping little outside their house. Their reply was an eloquent "I'd tell them to fuck off"

I like to think that everyone left the encounter a little more knowledgeable, but I think not. In fact, I'm fairly certain that the young tyke became too excited by his roast dinner waiting for him at home and forgot all about littering, at least judging by his exclamation of "Faggot!" as we all went our separate ways.

Volunteers Please!

I've been having a play creating a website using Joomla - not something I have a huge amount of experience with. I promised Ween I would make a small site for our wedding with a gift list on it, photos and such like. I figured if I was doing something for us, I may as well do something other folk can use too.

This is as far as I've got. Ignore the latin, it's just filler text until I think of something witty to put on the front page, and the design I intend to start from scratch rather than using a template - however if anyone out there would be so kind as to sign in and offer any criticisms or feedback, it would be greatly appreciated. I will reward you by blogging a bit more often.

Username: demo
Password: demo123

The ultimate goal is that users will have a direct link to their profile (e.g. http://www.unione.co.uk/sarahandpete) but I haven't quite got that working yet. Also you'll note I haven't actually added the gift list yet either... shh! Don't tell Ween!

Twaddle.

According to Stu's Laziest Blogger ticker, I am that. Or at least I was, until this post.

There is a couple of reasons why this isn't the case. Firstly, I have started posting elsewhere. Yes, this is both bad and wrong, but it is also true. I've enjoyed myself doing it, and as rubbish as it may be I hope that anyone else of a similar bent may be interested in following it.

Secondly, I need to refer back to my previous blog, in which I said...

I suddenly find myself in a position where I am hating, really hating, my job again.

I am going to be very careful here and say that I was not overstating the situation. Certainly, my job did not involve putting kittens into a bag and taking them down to a river, but it also wasn't something I was overly enjoying.

In perfect James May stylee, however, Good News! I have been offered a JOB.

Moving swiftly back to important blog-worthy matters, what you may notice from the Other Place I have posting (apart from the thing that will not be mentioned) is that I have been cycling a bloody long way. Yes, I cycled from Romsey to Swanage and back, about 140 miles in total.

Although I came back in great pain, I strongly recommend others to have a go too. It was great fun. Yes, we over did it. We should have given ourselves an extra day, but by jove it was good. Bikes are the way forward.

Being outside, understanding the terrain you are crossing, the distance, the elevation, the weather... it all adds to a holiday. By simply jumping into a car and driving somewhere listening to Radio 2 seems somehow crap in comparison. I'm sorry, but it's true.

I've arranged to take a few more of these holidays with my cycling buddy (also my best man) and I'm thoroughly looking forward to them. Maybe if you're in the New Forest area one weekend, you might want to join us?

Haven't we been here before?

I suddenly find myself in a position where I am hating, really hating, my job again. It largely stems from part of my role, which starting as a minor part, and has now almost engulfed the entire job. Basically its not a particularly enjoyable thing to do, and it doesn't make me popular with the students. Considering that the vast majority of my working life involves interaction with students, this is a Big Thing.

I've started drinking more again. A lot more, the bottle of red to myself every night kind of more.
I know it isn't helping matters, but I've got myself trapped in that place.

Naturally I have been applying for alternative employment, and I have my fingers crossed over a couple of possibilities, but many of them involve a quite serious pay cut. Paying for the habit is one thing, I can always kick that if necessary, but finding it tough to pay the mortgage is something else.

That said, I am tempted to simply hand in my notice on Monday, and deal with the consequences later. Maybe get a few temping jobs to pay the bills and see what happens after that, but I just don't know.

Wax and wane

You know how the moment you finish washing your car a bird is going to take a nice big poo over your windscreen?

Yesterday I had my car valeted, washed, waxed, top up the fluids that needed topping up and generally felt good about driving the monstrosity for the first time in years.

Today a numpty on a motorbike decided he no longer liked the idea of using brakes and used my rear end to stop instead.*

Bastard.

* Yes, he's OK (trust me, I checked him long before I started worrying about the car - He's still a bastard).

Hiyo God Damn Silver!

Again I appear to be the laziest blogger, so let me rectify that by sharing with a few things I've enjoyed while I've been away.

Firstly, a fan boys wet dream. A fan-made trailer for a movie about Dick Grayson. I love this for so many reasons, and I hope that if you've ever read a DC comic you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

Next on my path to true geekdom, I seem to have got myself involved in Dungeons and Dragons. Completely coincidental with the death of Gygax, I assure you, I am now playing weekly, and rather enjoying it. Anyone else of the blogroll a secret player? Any tips?

And finally, a little story from work. The other day I happened to pass by IT services and noticed they had a new plasma screen installed. The screen displayed a rotation of various statistics, such as the number of computers switched on, temperature and light levels in the server rooms, that kind of thing.

One such report seemed to show lights being turned on and off every half an hour in one room, over a 14-hour period. Obviously something was seriously amiss. Could it be that someone was truly going into and out of the locked room so often across the working day?

Eventually we figured it out. The report had been set for 14 days, not 14 hours. Light/dark was simply day/night. This was not solved before we had physically checked the location, stood guard over the room and spent a great deal of time scratching our heads.

We're professionals, us.

Half Term.

For the past two days, there have been a group of kids on the corner of my road holding signs saying "Honk! Honk!" and waving them at passing motorists.

I don't know what amuses me more. Whether it is that the kids are bored and inventive enough to use this as a pastime (and keep it up for a significant period of time) or that nearly every damned car which drives past is doing it.

And I'll paint if I want to.

Largely inspired by Henner's blog, I have been toying with the idea of taking up painting. Unlike Hen, the medium of watercolour, rather than oils quite appeals to me. I like to see myself as the organised sort of fellow (I'm not) who will meticulously plan a picture before rendering it.

Being as it is my birfday today I decided to splash out and buy a set of water colours and paintbrushes from Mr. W H Smith.

I spent a good half an hour just playing with the colours (and cling film), making a few blocks of paint and interesting shapes, before setting about a little work. This first result was, I am quite ashamed to say, somewhat childish in its composure. I think I probably learned a lot about lighting, dimensions and planning just from this one piece. I won't share it here - needless to say I'm not proud of it, but I'm glad I did it.

Thanks Hen for unwittingly encouraging me to take up this pastime. I have a sneaking suspicion it will be addictive. And thanks for Stu for the name and shame to make me blog.

Road Kill.

Back when I was working for XYZ Publishers I occasionally promised that I would cycle in at least once, but never did. Yesterday, I took a day off my current job and fulfilled that promise. The right day to do it, as it turned out.

Leaving the house at 09.00 I wasted no time in gaining that feeling of "oh shit it's cold, it's a long way, and now I feel a bit sick" but I pressed on regardless. By the time I had hit the brow of the first hill, everything was OK in the world. The mist was still over the fields, but the sky was blue.

The plan was to hit the Test Way, ride through Stockbridge, and on to Andover. Arriving at that point, however, it became apparent that the toll for the amount of rain over the past few months was mud, and lots of it. Cycling through it would be tough, and slow. Cycling on the road, which can be a bit of a race track would be faster, but dangerous.

I don't know why, but I chose the road. Interestingly enough nobody did anything spectacularly stupid, and I saw a few cyclists come the opposite way so maybe my theory about there being more cyclists, and therefore more aware drivers is starting to hold water.

The mist cleared from the fields as I arrived in Stockbridge, and I took a five minute pitstop before heading off again. Horses ran along with me in their fields, and a few deer looked inquisitively at me as I rode past - quite hidden from driver's view amongst tree branches, but still right next to the road. Some where along this point I spotted a lone red glove, and then a few miles on it's partner, never to be reunited with their soulmate.

Views across the fields were spectacular. I really wish I had taken a camera. It's strange to think I drove this way every day for two years and never appreciated it. I wonder how many do likewise.

It finally feels like spring could be just around the corner. A round trip of 36 miles. My legs are aching now, but I feel invigorated. Remind me - why do I drive again?

2007 Roundup

So, what happened?

I lost a crap job, gained a mediocre job.

I joined a gym.

I kept a few new year resolutions (cycled more, wrote a little more, didn't start a religion)

And got engaged!

Resolution for 2008:-

Cut back on the booze.

Pay off student loan (£5k apparently... ouch!).