Bob.

OK, the story of Bob the Totem Pole was what I promised yesterday, so here it is. Find yourself a comfy chair, get yourself a box of tissues and a warm mug of cocoa - this is gonna be a sad 'un.

Well, as sad as bits of wood get, anyway.

To give you a bit of an introduction to my good friend Bob you can read about his conception, the seemingly enless labour, and eventual birth here.

A somewhat more truthful account is that while I was a member of Venture Scouts we once went camping at Gilwell Park. At a loss for something to do one afternoon, we decided to emulate the nearby Cub Scouts and make our own totem pole. Rather than being an afternoon's work, it ended up taking about three days from start to finish, and became something of a Unit mascot that was taken to every event we attended.

Until it got nicked.

It was taken to a Scouting Event called "Trek Cart", which is basically an excuse to chuck the aforementioned (usually very ancient) carts around a wooden course at breakneck speed. Like many such events, there was a friendly competition between teams that continued late into the evening, which deteriorated into outright theft. Bob was in fact stolen not just once, but twice, having been rescued from his trap on the first occasion.

The following year he was spotted by the Unit leader, who made a valiant attempt to rescue him. Alas, the infidels struck back, slightly wounding the esteemed leader in the ear. He reluctantly gave up on the rescue attempt, but the captors agreed to return him after the event...

But he was stolen again! He did send us a letter to let us know he was OK, which sort of made us feel a bit better, but we were determined to bring him home. The whole story of our race to find Bob before he was turned into Hamster bedding can be found here, but to surmise we got lots of letters from around the world from people claiming to have him.

This chase story differs from Hollywood hostage fillums in three significant ways. 1. It didn't star Mel Gibson, 2. It was all for a bit of wood, and 3. We ultimately failed to bring him home.

It's now almost four years since I last had any news about Bob, and truth be told I miss the thing. So if you know of the whereabouts, or his final demise (no doubt a campfire, to be frank) please let me know.