Purloined.

See Stu.

1. Ever been given an engagement ring?
No

2. Longest friendship?
Probably about ten years with Simon. Lost track though, feel bad about that.

3. Last gift you received?
A keyring with a picture of me on it.

4. How many times have you dropped your cell?
All the time.

5. When’s the last time you worked out?
If swimming or cycling counts, two days ago.

6. Thing you spend a lot of money on?
How much is a "lot"? Mortgage doesn't really count for me, it's just a bill. Maybe my Satnav or last years holiday.

7. Last food you ate?
Grilled ciabatta with cheese and mushrooms.

8. First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Fingernails, then wedding ring.

9. One favourite song?
Too many. Maybe "Peace Train" by Cat Stevens, maybe something else.

10. Where do you live?
Romsey, UK

11. Cell phone service provider?
Vodafone

12. Favourite mall store?
Anything with a door that leads out. I get claustrophobic in those places.

13. Longest job ever had?
Current job, 3.8 years.

14. Do you own a pair of dice?
Yes. I went through a Dice Man phase, which I now regret.

15. Do you prank call people?
No.

16. Last wedding attended?
Helen and Gavin.

17. First friend you’d call if you won the lottery?
Ween.

18. Last time you attended church?
Attended church, I don't know. Went into a church last May.

19. How old are you?
24

20. Biggest lie you have heard?
"no one in [Iran] should be persecuted because of his or her religious beliefs" - President Khatami

21. What do you want to drive?
I'd much rather not.

22. Where’s your favourite place to eat with friends?
Home.

23. Can you cook?
Yes. I love cooking, and I love to make something new, even if I make a mess of it.

24. What car do you drive?
2001 VW Polo

25. Best kisser?
John. Long story.

26. Last time you cried?
Not sure I can remember actually.

27. Most disliked food?
Mussels. Actually, I love mussels, but I had a bad one once and now they make me go bleurgh.

28. Thing you like most about yourself?
My hair just after it's been cut.

29. Thing you dislike most about yourself?
My hair when it's getting longer and going greasy.

30. Longest shift you have worked at a job?
I don't really pay attention to hours, and don't work shifts anyway. If I'm there and something has to be done, I'll do it, unless I should be somewhere else.

31. Favourite movie?
Usually the last decent film I've seen. Currently it's The Woodsman, but it could equally be Nightwatch, or La Haine, or Signs, or Escape from New York. No, really, that Escape from New York... it's good!

32. Can you sing?
Ish.

33. Last concert?
Never been to one.

34. Last kiss?
This morning.

35. What colour are your eyes?
Hazelly.

36. Who knows your darkest secret?
A very nice Baptist girl.

37. Last movie rented?
Probably Saw.

38. Thing you never leave home without?
Shoe-horn.

39. Favourite vacation spot?
Although I don't like flying, I've really fallen in love with Sicily. I want to go back.

40. Do you like Chinese food?
Yes.

42. Is your room clean?
Yes, but it wouldn't be if Ween wasn't here to make me tidy up after myself.

43. Laptop or desktop computer?
One desktop, one defunct laptop, one new laptop on it's way sometime in the first quarter.

44. Favourite comedian?
Lee Evans.

45. Do you smoke?
No. The smell utterly disgusts me.

46. Sleep with or without clothes?
Without.

47. Who sleeps with you every night?
Ween.

48. Long distance relationships work?
They can, but sometimes if you think it will, you would find a reason for the distance not to be there.

49. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Three times, no points, no tickets, one breathalyser, one person locked in the boot of my car.

50. Pancakes or French toast?
French toast.

51. Do you like coffee?
No.

52. How do you like your eggs?
"In the basket"

53. Do you believe in astrology?
No.

54. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Bondage body-bag John.

55. Last person on your missed call list?
As above.

56. What was the last text message you received?
No idea, and I'm not going to go find my phone to look, so this will have to remain unknown.

57. McDonalds or Burger King?
Neither. What? You want to die before 40?

58. Number of pillows?
2.

59. What are you wearing right now?
Slippers, Socks, Boxers, Jeans, two jumpers.

60. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
It's not like you'd never seen a monkey in rollerblades and dungerees before

61. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
What's one of those?

62. Can you play pool?
Yes.

63. Do you know how to swim?
Yes.

64. Favourite ice cream?

Mint Choc Chip

65. Do you like maps?
Yes, if I'm not driving.

66. Tell me a random fact about yourself?
My birthmark is on my ankle.

67. Do you do drugs?
Wine is a drug, yeah? Yes, I do drugs.

68. Ever attend a theme party?
Yes. Used to do this every Christmas. Sadly after a few divorces and children (i.e., people growing up) this has ceased to occur. I miss it.

69. What is your favourite season?
Autumn.

70. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
You mean like my cat, just now, when it fell out of our tree? That kind of stupid? OK... just then.

71. What time did you wake up this morning?
8.10

72. Best thing about winter?
People who don't pay attention on the road tend to cease to be on it for very long.

73. Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
Not ever had one.

74. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
Bungee jumping.

75. Name of your first pet?
Top Cat!

76. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
Overrated. What?

77. What are you doing this weekend?
Making food.

78. Who’s your best friend?
Ween.

79. What is the third letter of your name?
t

80. How old are your pets?
Dunno. They were all strays.

81. What colour is your backpack?
Blue.

82. Are you sick?
You ask me this after you let me fuck your dog?

84. Is the bathroom open?
Yeah, help yourself.

87. Are you smiling?
I am now.

88. Do you have on eye-liner?
No.

89. Do you miss someone right now?
Yes, lots of people. I should get out more.

90. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Taormina.

91. Do you have a Myspace?
No.

92. Are you in high school?
No.

93. Do you have a crush?
No.

94. What is your favourite nickname for yourself?
I quite like Kouros, because I chose it, but my all-time favourite is "Quiche"

95. What colour is your bathing suit?
Blue.

96. What’s your favourite brand of water?
Why oh why oh why does this question even pop into someone's head?

97. Did you go on vacation last month?
No.

98. Have you ever been on a cruise?
No.

99. Do you have a sister?
Yes, two of them. Just so that you don't get any ideas, they both look like me.

100. Are you upstairs?
Yes.

Lies, Damned Lies and Children's Stories.

I really should learn not to give myself deadlines, shouldn't I?

OK, so Timber isn't here yet to share with y'all, so have a quick blog about my day instead. I haven't been out on my bike in a while, so figured it was about time to get some practice in.

I figured it would be nice to find a route to work, and at least do part of that journey to see how it goes. The rough course can be found here. Those of you who know where I live and work will realise there is a bit missing of the start, and a sizeable bit from the end. The route takes me about midway to work (Stockbridge) and there is about two miles missing from the start, so the route I did today was seven miles.

It took me an hour and a half. That's not very good, is it?

It was as muddy as sin, and a hard slog the whole way. Damned nice scenery to look at though, and much more entertaining that a normal drive. I just wish I didn't get a puncture on the way back. Bah!

A three hour commute, assuming that I am correct in saying that it is midway in traveling time, really isn't a very good idea. Maybe I'll have to find another way, and one that isn't so muddy in winter. Good fun though!

Rollercoaster.

That's all over then: I have a job afterall. At least until after Christmas.

Watch This Space.

We are going to receive an "update" this afternoon from the Chairman. We all know what this usually means, so here's... not really caring actually.

On another (more positive) note, isn't it interesting how the muse strikes? As I drove into work this mornig, I was thinking of how I haven't written anything lately, and that I really should. I plumped for writing a children's story, as I haven't written on before and I think it would be interesting. I started to name the characters, and even came up with a respectable storyline.

But I got stuck with one character, a Dormouse I think he was. I didn't know what to call him at all, and so I chose Timber - I really don't know why, as it bore no relation to his character at all, except that he may have lived in a tree.

By the time I had arrived at work I had completely forgotten the earlier story (nope... still got no idea, it'll never come back now) and instead had a complete synopsis for an entirely different story about an entirely different Timber.

I've written the first little bit which you can read below, and booked Monday off work. I'll write the rest then, and post it in my blog. Apologies as the below is very rough, even by my standards, and it will undoubtedly change by Monday. Enjoy!


TIMBER
BY PETER BANCROFT

It was Sally’s birthday, and her Grandfather had promised to give her something extra special this year. He took her down to the little shed at the bottom of the garden, and lifted her up so that she could sit down on top of an old table, where she could see everything he was doing.

Sally watched as her Grandfather filled a little brown pot up with soil, and held it in front of her. “Make a big hole in here with your thumb,” he told her, and she did. Her Grandfather then took a little acorn out of his pocket and gave it to her. “Now put this in the hole, and push it all the way down.”

Sally took the acorn, and pushed it all the way into the hole. Her Grandfather then filled in the hole with a little more soil, and watered it with a little watering can.

“This is your present, Sally. This little acorn will grow and grow until it’s big and strong like you will be. When it’s big enough, we’ll plant it outside in a special garden for you, where you can always come and see your tree.”

Sally came to visit her grandfather every week, and every week they looked at her little tree. They watched as from the soil slowly came a little green shoot reach upwards, getting ever-so slowly taller and taller.

One day, her Grandfather told her that it was now big enough to plant outside and Sally help to choose a place at the end of the garden where her tree could go. “What do you think now?” asked her Grandfather.

“I think I’ll call him Timber,” said Sally.

Sally’s Grandfather laughed. “Don’t be silly,” he said, “People don’t name trees.”

“Of course they do,” said Sally. “And my one is called Timber.”

“Then Timber he shall be.” Sally’s Grandfather took her inside, and they sat in the kitchen by a little window where they could see Timber wave gently in the breeze, as they ate fruit cake and drank lemonade.

Bah, grumble, bah.

Hey, Kouros, you have a new job!

Woo!

But we're probably going to be making you redundant anyway.

In The News.

We've all heard the news about the serial killer in Suffolk. I do not dispute that this is an awful series of events, and the sooner the culprit is found and this is stopped, the better. Unconditionally I feel truly sorry for the families of the victims, and naturally for the victims themselves.

However, I was concerned by a discussion on the radio this morning. The debate centred around whether or not is was appropriate for the media to refer to the victims as prostitutes, as the term undermines them and does not reflect that they were real people, with real families, and lives outside of their "work". Instead, it was argued, they should be referred to as a sex worker.

I'm not a big fan of the media in this country, but for once I found myself on their side. If my understanding is correct, someone who solicits and accepts payment in return for giving sexual satisfaction to their clients is a prositute. This is different to a porn actress, adult store clerk, lap dancer, or some other "sex worker" as there is a direct connection between the worker, and the result; in other words, they prostitute themselves, not an image of themselves or from a distance, or some product or other.

Now let me be clear - this wasn't a perjorative term being used such as nigger, cracker, whore, or whatever, but a term that has recognition in the law of the land, regardless whether the individuals used it themselves.

As a side point, if the killer appeared to be targeting entirely bank clerks (this was argued in the debate) then the media would most likely point this out. Would this undermine the memory of the people involved? Well, no... largely because this role isn't outside of societal norms.

Should one be offended that these girls were prostitutes? Maybe we should be, but we should still refer to them as such, for that is what they were. Maybe we should be offended that there is someone out there who has decided that killing girls is a good course of action to take to solve the 'problem', and just maybe we should be offended that the problem exists in the first place. Maybe we should be offended that they found that life to be the solution to their own problems, or despite them, or because of them.

Covering something untasteful with a more respectable name helps nobody in particular. Sometimes the undermining is not done by a label, or by how they are remembered, but by the actions of the person themselves.

Budget the little helicopter.

Yay! My proposal was accepted (yes, I did put some effort into it... while I didn't want to be given yet another dead end role, I also didn't want to appear incompetant). I also have money to spend on the website! Hurrah! And it's quite a lot actually.

And my first act in my new position is to (wait for it...) book a trip to Orange! The more things change, the more they stay the same. At least this way I get to partake in two (yes, count them, two) Xmas office parties, with the MD and Chairman at both of them.

How happy am I? Ecstatic.