Tomorrow I have an interview. Yay, you might say.
But nay, say I.
It is an interview for my current job. The one I despise because it serves no purpose and has no focus. Employment may well be what you make it, but it is difficult to make anything when you are little more than an unwilling yesman to faceless people unable or unwilling to do their own job. The website you say? Oh, well that budget has been taken away. This is after it was granted, taken away, reduced, granted, taken away, and then granted again.
Life as a recluse is looking more and more tempting. Oddly enough, my boss said something interesting to me today. After going through all of the things I can do, and how much of a positive impact they have, she said this, almost as an afterthought (though probably not):-
You may be one of those people who travel through life eternally unhappy
Dear me, I hope not. I never used to be. With hand signals she pointed to where I am, right down there, and then asked me where I wanted to be, which was sort of middlish. I am not one of those people who wants to run the world, but I have ideas, and I'd like to have an outlet for them.
And so I come home today frustrated. Whose fault is this? Mine, naturally, though not entirely... but where do I go? I feel like a ping pong ball, one moment optimistic about the future, and whatever it may bring, yet the next I am bound by the restrictions the same future ties around my neck as the wooden floor of the past gives way.
And so I come home today frustrated. Whose fault is this? Mine, naturally, though not entirely... but where do I go? I feel like a ping pong ball, one moment optimistic about the future, and whatever it may bring, yet the next I am bound by the restrictions the same future ties around my neck as the wooden floor of the past gives way.
7 comments:
She's not patronising... in fact, she can be overly positive and optimistic. This is probably one of the most down to earth things she has said, and in context, probably took a lot of guts for her to say it.
I am thinking about outside interests. Spurred on by your blog a few weeks ago, I am going to take up painting (watercolours no less) though not as a hobby, just because I want to try it, just once.
You're sounding a little deflated, chum. I still have your old tyre-inflator if you want pop round for a good pumping.
Oh, that sounded terrible, didn't it? I'd better not click on the 'Publish' button.
Bugger. Too late.
Imposter syndrome? Good luck chum
If you had 10 million pounds and never had to work another day in your life, what would you do with your time?
That's easy. I would do volunteer work in conservation, spend some time travelling more by road to see more of the country, and return to university. Obviously that wouldn't fill up the remainder of my days, but gives a rough idea of where I am coming from.
Then you simply need to find a way to do that sort of thing while earning enough money to live on.
This much is true. However, earning enough to live on is kinda the problem, especially as every job I have gone for lately I have failed to get.
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